At the Carwash...

Several of the more mature members of our canoe clubs (i.e. those with proper jobs) decided to go surfing for the weekend. They crowed a lot about it because it was exam season and most of the student members were up to their necks in revision. However, on their return, they were strangely quiet about their trip, and any mention of it resulted in either pained looks or giggles, depending on whom you spoke to. The following was coaxed out of one of the gigglers, after the application of a fair amount of alcohol.

"Paula with Alistair and Rheda (all university graduates and well paid corporate whizz kids) decided that they'd wash the car before they set out on the long journey. Now, I've yet to figure out whether they were lazy or they were trying to clean the boats, but they decided to leave the two kayaks on the roof. Our three muppets had clearly been watching too many episodes of Star Trek / Buck Rogers as they assumed that the car wash would figure out that they had canoes on the roof and move around it. All was going well until the roller moved up the bonnet, up the windscreen, came to the canoes on the roof (which overhung the windscreen) and kept going up! It then lifts the whole roof-rack off the roof and keeps going until the boats jam in the roof of the car wash.

So now they were stuck, can't go forward, can't go back and were having trouble opening the doors due to the side washer thingies.

They decide to call for help. Annalisa answers the phone and when Paula sheepishly explains that they'd "had a bit of an accident" it is suddenly interpreted as they have been involved in a horrific multi-car pile up but have somehow survived. It also didn't help that Paula told us she was in a town twenty miles further back down the road than she really was.

So we sped back to her rescue, driving straight past the car wash and a further twenty miles before turning around. When we finally found then they had already managed to extricate themselves and were ready to go, looking at us with a "what's all the hassle about lads?" type look on their faces.

We only stopped laughing when we made it to the M25 - 3 hours later. But we should thank them for discovering a vital piece of intelligence - Car Washes and Kayaks are bad news.

Original by Carl, edited by Sam Moore.