Where did all the banter go?

[markayak]

I have been known to partake in some mountain biking but couldn't bring myself to put on spandex and jiggle my butt up and down the street. I don't think i would enjoy road biking either

[SwamP]

Does anyone remember a lad that used to paddle a Salto and was always on hear causing trouble lol. can't for the life of me remember his name

Two people I can think of offhand who fit that description... Quickdraw McCraw is a possibility, but my money is on RyanP, aka. SwamP or his previous incarnation: The Shell.

Haha I like to think I pointed out the truth....which may have resulted in causing trouble :-p

It turned out plebs don't like being called plebs….who knew.

In all seriousness though, I just wanted to give a different (my) view on things to avoid a sport I used to quite like becoming a w^nkfest with everyone patting each other on the back…

So if you want some banter here goes my findings:
- Kayaking remains in the clique and not in the mainstream
- People will always call holidays to countries where the locals don't use microwaves, "expeditions"
- Online presence and lies get more kudos and recognition than actually paddling hard rivers
- It isn’t better to burn out than fade away. Dislocation + trapped nerve + chipped bone + mild hypothermia=SUCKS BALLS!!!!
- PLF is now called ‘driving the boat’ and has become a legitimate style (It’s boring to watch)
- We’re paddling less rocky ditches but breaking more boats
- Only 4 groups of paddlers in the country are pushing the sport forward. The majority of groups are having more fun than anyone. And the pathetic minority are still trying to promote themselves…which is just weird as they don’t seem to paddle anything noteworthy
- Head cam footage is better than nothing; but only just
- Going upside down is called capsizing. It is not a donkey flip. Helix or a chunky monkey. If you tried those moves and had to roll up, you failed your move
- Pokes favourite: If you're not playing the river; you are just a floating log with an inflated ego
- Big fish / small pond, is kinda how it seems to work
- Kayakers have short memories.


All the above sounds quite negative, so here’s my positives:
- The legends are still out there, they’re still boating hard and they still have no time for the plebs. Over beers they’re as vocal about it as I used to be, they just chose not to point it out.
- We now have a mini play park for boating in Scotland. That’s the best thing that’s happened to Scottish boating since AJ first sat in a plastic boat. I love that my old mates have a place to socialise.
- In the end, all that matters in kayaking, is the rivers that we’ve paddled. And I’m proud of what I paddled (without PLF)
- All that matters in life, is adventure

Regrets:
- Not experiencing Nepal or the Zam.
- Coming back to paddling in 2007 and associating with some low life’s instead of old mates.
- Being a d!ck to Mark R

Anyway I can’t really say much more for banter. I don’t sit in kayaks floating around the place any more. You should really only comment when you’re walking in the same shoes…and I’m not.

Peace out folks, I miss you and your tiny sport, in no way at all :)
(in no way bitter, just a bit "meh")

[markayak]

Lol some very good points there. never did understand the obsession with filming every second of your weekend to make into a home movie with the view of becoming "famous" I was generally always too busy kayaking to be that bothered about getting out and setting up cameras and stuff. Isn't that why we have girlfriends ;)

[SwamP]

Sure is, just dont' tell my wife :-D

[gp.girl]

Isn't that why we have girlfriends ;)

Round here wives are for taking husbands out kayaking as often as they can! Now shuttle bunnies and non paddlers are fair game :)

Cameras + laptop are great for 'oh no' moments at the pub afterwards (and coaching). Rapids are like car rallies if you see a camera set up its going to be even more fun....

[DaveBland]

Online presence and lies get more kudos and recognition than actually paddling hard rivers
PLF is now called ‘driving the boat’ and has become a legitimate style (It’s boring to watch)

Peace out folks, I miss you and your tiny sport, in no way at all :)
(in no way bitter, just a bit "meh")

Ryan, after those two gems, you can bow out in style.

[banzer]

Ryan never bows out completely. He misses the banter too much!