Pregnant wife V paddling trip. Advice please

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Jbreen
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Pregnant wife V paddling trip. Advice please

Post by Jbreen »

I'm looking to go on a trip to Corsica for 2 weeks in April 8th- 23rd. I want to go on a trip before the baby is born as I know I will have greater responsibilities and little time once the baby is born. My wife also wants me to go on this trip but she will be 30-32 weeks pregnant when I go and due on the 19th of June. We our fist time parents and don't know what to expect at this point of the pregnancy, my wife will be heavily pregnant.
Could we have advice from kayakers who our fathers,fathers to be, mothers and any one that can help us, whether this is a good time to be away for 2 weeks or not.

Cheers

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Voodoo
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Re: Pregnant wife V paddling trip. Advice please

Post by Voodoo »

You may find that the closer to April gets the more she will start to think its not a good Idea,

During my Wife last pregnancy I noticed the closer I got to the time the less I was allowed to go out ie. She wasn't keen on me going to Anglesey for the day Sea paddling since 3hr drive there plus 4 hours on water and 3 hrs back meant that I was gone for the day and for some off it was un contactable,

I would say that if you have family and a good support system around you at the min and if you where out off the country when it happens at lest she's not on her own so to speak
The big question is she going to be Ok with you not there and will you will be Ok missing the birth of your First born ? since you do run the risk off it coming at the worst possible time
there is no rule of thumb you can use since babies will do what they what when they want and that could be weeks early or late
Last edited by Voodoo on Mon Jan 09, 2012 8:36 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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hardy
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Re: Pregnant wife V paddling trip. Advice please

Post by hardy »

Difficult to answer.I want to take the 5th ammendment,but then again i am not American,just a gobby Bristolian,so here goes:

I have 2 girls aged mid twenties.My wife,if she were 100 years older,would have been one of the founder members of the Sufferagettes,i am sure.

In my opinion as a bloke,statiscally you should be fine.Scientifically there is so much help close to home,you should be ok on that score to.
Selfishly,as a bloke,go,do it,deal with the fall-out later.That is probably how i would have looked at it when ours were coming along.

However,there are at least 2 people involved in this decision,the 3rd may give you stick later down the line,especially if she is a female.

In my opinion as a dad,women are strange (beautiful,fantastic,wonderful,intrigueing),very strange.You may well be given the green light;Now!But later you will get it in the neck.

In my opinion now that i have clocked a few years;Don't go.Emotionally she will be fireing on all cylinders,and ultimately will be better with you close at hand for support.She will expand considerably in the last few weeks,to the point where you may well want to take cover,but instead you should clean the house,get the shopping etc etc.I think she will be forever grateful,and you will be allowed out at a later time.Why not go to Norway later in the year?

In my opinion as a revolutionary;Play dumb,you have bigger fish to fry,and consequently deserve a break from future constitutional affairs,before you finally settle down under the oppressive weight of fatherhood.



Told you it was hard.

S.P.
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Re: Pregnant wife V paddling trip. Advice please

Post by S.P. »

There's more water the previous two weeks in Corsica,maybee this would be better for both of you.Stu

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banzer
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Re: Pregnant wife V paddling trip. Advice please

Post by banzer »

Too close dude... too close. Quite a lot of babies get born at 7 months. When they decide it's time, it's time! Have a week in Scotland in March instead but don't take your wife, it won't be much fun for her. Make sure she has friends and family and nice things to do when you're away. There's few things worse- quite understandably- than a bored pregnant lady.

I went on holiday overseas with my wife when she was 6 months, but I was spending quality time with her. I wouldn't have wanted to do 7 months, and she wouldn't either in retrospect.

Just my opinion, have fun!
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Helen H
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Re: Pregnant wife V paddling trip. Advice please

Post by Helen H »

Firstly, congratulations and hope all is going well and you must be so excited looking forwards to your new family member due soon.

As a Mum of 21 and 18 year olds, I can only share my experience but not tell you what to decide.

At that stage, I was still teaching full time in a challenging post, but very vulnerable and very appreciative of support at health appointments. My first child was born a month early after only 2 and 1/2 hours of labour (and my son also early within less than one hour of labour). Your midwife will be able to advise more but from my perspective you can't be certain when babies will arrive and it's a very special time you won't want to miss.

Having said that I can also understand that you are keen to enjoy the time before life gets taken over by the needs of the family above your own for a while. Another thought is that I returned to paddling as a much older Mum and am having loads of fun and adventures both with my family and now they are grown up enjoying the freedom to do what I want when I want again
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justin-g
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Re: Pregnant wife V paddling trip. Advice please

Post by justin-g »

DO it!!! my second one is due in July and i'm scheming Italy or even an early Norwary this year before she sprogs. It's only going to get harder to go later - you might as well wear it in the neck... just think of those granite boofs. Seriously - i would go.

BUT don't under any circumstances take her with you. There is no place for girlfirends on paddling holidays - let along pregnant wives or girlfriends. I have learnt this the hard way having taken her with me to Italy a couple of years ago 6 months preg. DON'T do it. I certainly have learnt from this and will advoid any paddling hols invloving non paddling partners mine or otherwise. Cavet - if there are a couple of non paddling wives or girlfirends that get along well then it's a slgiht option.... slight.

Anyway paddling is my one chance to escape the kid and missus and i try and take this as often as possible...

Good luck!!
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SPL
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Re: Pregnant wife V paddling trip. Advice please

Post by SPL »

The devil on my shoulder says-
Book it now you have the green light! Worst case scenario is you have to cancel but in my expeirence (i have one and three yr old) with 8 weeks to go you will be fine, chances are the baby will be late!!

However the Angel says
if you miss the birth your wife will be seriously pissed, the mother in law will forever mutter under her breath but most importantly you will kick yourself for not being there.

Corsica will be there next year and the year after, my advice would be stay at home and get permission for a trip next year then book it!

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Simon Westgarth
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Re: Pregnant wife V paddling trip. Advice please

Post by Simon Westgarth »

I was away from week 34-37, before the main event, however it's all down to how well she is dealing with the day to day things. It's best you make the call closer to the date. We road tripped together week 28-34, perhaps she can come with you.

magictom
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Re: Pregnant wife V paddling trip. Advice please

Post by magictom »

You should definitely go on the trip but under no circumstances take preggers; pregnant women are incredibly grouchy after being knocked up longer than twenty minutes... she'd inconsiderately RUIN the trip and she is very unlikely to fit behind the steering wheel so being shuttle monkey is probably out of the question... so she has no use at all...

Also, don't worry if you miss the birth... it's hugely overrated and you can always rent a copy of the exorcist if you really feel the need to see something horrible. This whole "being in the room" thing has been foisted on mankind by a vengeful womankind who couldn't stand the idea of us having fun in the pub, passing out cigars, while they pushed an alien life form out of them... there are some places a bloke should never have to see someone else's face.

I went boating to Tibet when my wife was 6 months pregnant... haven't been anywhere since mind.

tom

GillD
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Re: Pregnant wife V paddling trip. Advice please

Post by GillD »

Being 29 weeks pregnant at the moment with our second child, I'm happy for him to do day paddles, but it's getting really difficult to do simple things round the house & the hubby is being invaluable, I simply would not manage if he was away for a night never mind a fortninght.

The problem with pregnancy is that it creeps up on you & suddenly you find silly things difficult & emotions are all over the place, to know how your wife will cope in 3 months time & booking a trip is very brave. You've got plenty of time after the baby is born to go paddling especially after the first year, you just need to negotiate it.

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Sickboy
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Re: Pregnant wife V paddling trip. Advice please

Post by Sickboy »

Ever heard of 'sods law?'
Right now I've just nipped home from the hospital for a few hours as they have just started the long process of inducing my mini me into the wide world as he's a week and a half overdue. Yes I could have gone to the Usk in early december, I was given the pass, but I'm in no doubt that the little squirt would be a month old now if I had.....the choice is yours as Cilla would say.
I've done a huge amount of paddling in the past few months as I can see into the near future and it looks pretty dry for me, both days weekend just gone, but decided that I didnt want to be more than an hour away as not to tempt fate.
Rum and coke, best served by the pint.

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Sickboy
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Re: Pregnant wife V paddling trip. Advice please

Post by Sickboy »

And remember, if you injure yourself you'll be of no use to your good lady, this came to mind when I somehow managed to get my wrist trapped under my Tgrip and gunnel with all the weight of me, boat and water pressing down on the whole lot on sunday, one very bent alloy shaft and a bruised hand, coulda been worse..
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Randy Fandango
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Re: Pregnant wife V paddling trip. Advice please

Post by Randy Fandango »

My personal view is that it's just too close. If she suddenly starts to drop you want to be somewhere you stand a reasonable chance of getting home pronto from or you will kick yourself for the rest of your life.
However -- for about twenty years prior to my childrens' appearance I used to get away paddling or diving about three weekends out of four and have generally two or three diving or paddling week or more (sometimes much more!) trips every year. It was great :-)
My eldest will be three and my son a year in a few weeks. I've not had a trip longer than a weekend for well over three years and I've only had three weekends since then and in fact in 2011 all I managed to paddle was the Lee Valley course.
Make of that what you will.... :-/
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Bruce Jolliffe
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Re: Pregnant wife V paddling trip. Advice please

Post by Bruce Jolliffe »

I blame Emily Pankhurst for all this nonsense. In the 19th century you'd have been off in your Rob-Roy Canoe, but gone are the days of womenfolk screaming in the privacy of their childbirth hell while Mr Newdad was roundly congratulated at the Reform Club with a large brandy and hefty cigar.

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Re: Pregnant wife V paddling trip. Advice please

Post by scottdog007 »

For my second child I had to go away on a very important business trip, if I didn't go I would have lost loads of dosh so it was a no brainer. The mother-in-law gave me merry hell told me she would never speak to me again :-) Many friends said they would give support and take her to the hospital if the birth occured.

As it so happened it did occur, and I was in Belgium. I had just completed the final meeting, I jumped into the car and drove very fast to 'Le Shuttle' I was the last person on and the first person off, I blased home and got to the hospital in 4.5 hours from Belgium and when my wife started going into labour. I missed the birth by 30 minutes.

The real down side of all this was all the friends who said they would help did 'ef' all. She had to call an ambulance. Shows who are your true friends.

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Re: Pregnant wife V paddling trip. Advice please

Post by jam bo »

My boy was born 12 weeks ago, 12 weeks early. Totally unexpected and with about 4 hours notice.

It's been a rough ride but I wouldn't want to have missed any of it.

Corsica will be there another day.

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Re: Pregnant wife V paddling trip. Advice please

Post by wezzzy »

I say don't go, spend the odd day paddling near by and then do your tour after the birth if you still feel up to it.
I had to use an old phone in a waterproof bag while paddling to keep on contact with the other half. I even managed to get her and the MIL to go to CIWW with in the week she was due.

Spent a week I the Alps after shipping the Mrs and kid off to the in-laws when he was 3mths old

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Jim Pullen
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Re: Pregnant wife V paddling trip. Advice please

Post by Jim Pullen »

From memory there's only one or two large hospitals on Corsica and getting to civilisation when you're up some random valley with crap roads and mad Corsican drivers will take at least three hours. If you're on the river if your wife goes into an early labour the amount of faff would only be exacebated. Not a risk I'd be willing for my wife to take!

Jim (wife at 26 weeks with our first and counting)
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Re: Pregnant wife V paddling trip. Advice please

Post by buck197 »

Is there an "outdoor equality and diversity" course as a few people on here may be in the urgent need of one!!! Made me chuckle. Seriously be around as no one has today your offspring when they have to arrive and there will always be opportunities for you to paddle. Being at the birth was an awesome day and is too special to miss. If there was any problem then she may always remind you you weren't there when needed.

Best of luck and every success on your forthcoming event.
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AlexC
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Re: Pregnant wife V paddling trip. Advice please

Post by AlexC »

I'm surprised how many people on here are saying to go afterwards. From my experience that is unlikely to happen. But then every situation is different and some of the people saying go afterwards are speaking from position of experience so maybe it does work in some cases.

My experience was that before the birth was generally easy and afterwards generally hard. I went to California for two weeks around month six. She wasn't keen on me going any later but was perfectly capable of doing everything herself right up until the due date. I was working 200 miles away in Taunton and only came back when she actually went into labour. She even waited 2 hours before phoning me up so I could get a decent nights sleep - bless.

But then after the kids arrived, going away on my own was generally frowned upon.


I'd say to make the most of the time now and go away, but not too late.


Regarding trips together, our experience was that she was fine doing fairly substantial bike rides, walks and climbs right up to month 7. So don't discount the option of a trip away with your wife.

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Tony Aiuto
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Re: Pregnant wife V paddling trip. Advice please

Post by Tony Aiuto »

GO But make sure it's the best paddle of your life, because if you miss the birth, each and every birthday, you will remember that you weren't there at the start, but more importantly, "shewhomustbeobeyed" will be reminding you!
Tony Aiuto

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timsugg
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Re: Pregnant wife V paddling trip. Advice please

Post by timsugg »

Another for the wait for another day camp I'm afraid. Both of ours were laid back and late, but I have a friend who's came at 27 weeks or so, and thats when you'd be needed most. I have a 3 year year old and a 18month old and managed to get out to the alps for a long weekend the other year after the first was born and Italy for a week last year plus a few UK trips (though I never managed to get out as much as I would have liked pre-kids either). As they get older it does seem to get harder though with the new man conscience and the kids tugging on the heart strings.

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Randy Fandango
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Re: Pregnant wife V paddling trip. Advice please

Post by Randy Fandango »

AlexC wrote: My experience was that before the birth was generally easy .....
But then after the kids arrived, going away on my own was generally frowned upon.
And here, beautifully and succinctly put, is your life for the next few / many years..... :-)
Good luck whichever way you decide to play it. They are worth it. Honestly....
Ooh yes -- no idea how "official" this is but, if you were planning to go away taking your heavily pregnant mrs with you, thinking that civilisation and hospital is just a quick albeit expensive plane ride away, bare in mind that airlines won't fly anyone obviously hugely with child. I'm told that after 6 months, no chance (although like all things, I'm sure there are people here with different experiences to that.)
Giles

hardy
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Re: Pregnant wife V paddling trip. Advice please

Post by hardy »

Difficult!

My last post was a joke,as i hope you realised,never-the-less i think i put across a few of the issues involved.

However,seriously,i would not go.She needs you.She may not realise that yet,but you will be a help.As someone said above "Corsica will still be there".Someone else said "They are worth it",and that is a massive understatement,i adore my girls,even tho' we have had our hard times.This Xmas,sat as 4 adults with 2 boyfriends there as well was fabulous,something i dreamt of.I realised then that all the hard work was starting to pay off.And for you that work starts now,it will get harder,but humungously better.Life will take on new dimensions,with loads of laughs.

Why not go a little later,if she is managing ok?Keep your paddling tho',don't give it up,you need your space,and she needs hers.

Having said that,your relationship will be different than mine,and you may both cope with it if you do decide.

Good luck.

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Darksideup
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Re: Pregnant wife V paddling trip. Advice please

Post by Darksideup »

DON'T DO IT, I can't emphisize enough.
I made the mistake of going Golfing when our second child was due and have never been allowed to forget it. I was present for the birth of our first child and spent from 7.30am untill 10.20pm mostly in the waiting room by myself untill I was let in to see the birth. I thought I would have time to squeeze a round of golf in before the little blighter decided to show his face but missed it by 30 min. Every time the mention of children or childbirth is mentioned I get the evil stare and some sarcastic comment. Our youngest is now 28 and dosen't seem to have suffered any ill effects from my not being present on that fateful day. Now that i'm kayaking he has comandeered all of my golf kit, maybe there was a connection.
In summing up BE AT THE BIRTH AT ALL COSTS. :-)
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Jace
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Re: Pregnant wife V paddling trip. Advice please

Post by Jace »

Much as I can understand the call of a paddling trip... Do not do it. Rivers aren't going anywhere and you'll only get one chance to be there for your first.

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Diamond Dave
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Re: Pregnant wife V paddling trip. Advice please

Post by Diamond Dave »

I have absolutely no opinion as I'm a long way away from being pregnant. In fact, I'd hope I never get pregnant. Woud be a bit wierd.
Only wanted to add that my girlfriends middle name is Trisuli. Her dad was swirling round in a nasty whirl pool on this river when she was born.
(It was a trip planned for years with many kids from his school, wife gave the go ahead as it was something he was so passionate about and spent such a long time organising)
Dave
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Bewildered sassanack
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Re: Pregnant wife V paddling trip. Advice please

Post by Bewildered sassanack »

The stats are that she has around a 2% chance of giving birth before 32 weeks. If this happens the baby is going to be sick,going straight to neonatal ICU...and will be there for a while. She also has about a 10% chance (if first baby) of developing pre-eclampsia around 32 weeks....which will make both of them sick. Your call. Personally, having had first baby on boxing day and also spending a considerable amount of time working in Obstetric Anaesthesia I wouldn't go.
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River Honey
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Re: Pregnant wife V paddling trip. Advice please

Post by River Honey »

I am pregnant myself, currently 17 weeks and I am having to travel abroad with work.
Theres a couple things you need to be aware of Travel Insurance may not cover your wife abroad after 28 weeks, and after 28 weeks most airlines need Dr's notes to say your wife will be fit to fly and be advised at time of booking that your wife is pregnant.

Personally i have said to work that after 28 weeks I won't be doing long haul flights and short haul up to 32 weeks.

We just worked out your wife is due 3 days after me!!, I just said to Si my other half, I wouldn't mind him going on a "boys" kayak holiday to get it before the Baby arrives. However his respponse was if he used the time up for kayaking he wouldn't be left with much for when the baby arrives.

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