Whats the weirdest thing you have seen whilst paddling

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paddlersteve
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Re: Whats the weirdest thing you have seen whilst paddling

Post by paddlersteve » Thu Mar 31, 2011 9:49 pm

More European nakedness.

I think it was the Tosens section on the Inn is good high water levels on our uni club trip. Having brought our group through one of the huge wave trains that had many a heart pumping we'd pulled in to take a breath. A few moments later two merry naked Austrian (or Germans we suspected) gents floated past in a childs inflatable boat holding a crate of beer apiece and swiging merrily away, with a wave and merry "Hallo!"

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ianletton
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Re: Whats the weirdest thing you have seen whilst paddling

Post by ianletton » Fri Apr 01, 2011 10:06 am

More nakedness.

I was once on the Etive on your average cold miserable Scottish day (I think I was wearing my dry-suit...) and we rounded the corner just above the crack of dawn to find two girls, one on either side of the river, with very little clothing on and well and truly stuck.

They had decided to cross the river but only one managed and she couldn't get back.

After regathering our composure, we set up a line and managed to get them reunited. Although their clothes had somehow vanished downstream when they had tried to throw them across the river.

It was very odd.
IanLetton

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Re: Whats the weirdest thing you have seen whilst paddling

Post by Ashley_Ainsworth » Fri Apr 01, 2011 9:03 pm

A couple summers ago we arrived at the bridge by the Angel pub to inspect the Nedd Fechan level (it was stonking, we had a great day- but that's another story). Anyone who know's the river will also know the public loo by the bridge, I ran in to get rid of my morning coffee only to by confronted by a rather scruffy looking guy in a long coat washing his balls in the sink...and yes, he was literally stood by the sink, with his tackle pushed forwards splashing water onto his knackers.

Not sure who was more surprised, me or him!

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Janson
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Re: Whats the weirdest thing you have seen whilst paddling

Post by Janson » Fri Apr 01, 2011 10:33 pm

DaveBland wrote:The weirdest sight I remember was that trib that flows into the start of the Glasgow Avon with all the cars in it. When we paddled it, it was a raging torrent of bright yellow toxic water, flowing round dumped and mangled Ford Escorts requiring some nimble slalom moves.
Does anyone remember what that toxic dump is called?
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Re: Whats the weirdest thing you have seen whilst paddling

Post by Kayak-Bloke » Sat Apr 02, 2011 8:21 am

When I was a boy I was out sea paddling with my Dad, in my trusty old Snipe. We rounded the coast into a secluded bay and there, just a few metres away, was a topless young woman crouched over a young man. "What are they doing?" I asked my dad. My Dad just said she was "Making him happy."

We couldn't go back so we just paddled passed them. Once they clocked us they scambled for their clothes, I recall the bloke looked none too happy to have been interupted...


Many years later I took a boat to Plymouth for some evening paddling, after some work I was doing down there. I rounded the lido at Plymouth Hoe to see two young ladies completely starkers, on the steps below the cafe. The silence of my boat proved only to make the situation more awkward as I just got closer and closer without them noticing me. I felt like a real perv so I began making as much noise with my paddles as I could. When they noticed me they both screamed and darted about trying to get items to cover their modesty.

I didn't really know what the socially acceptable thing to do was so I just gave a casual 'hello' wave and then paddled passed...perhaps not as quickly as I could have..!

Nige

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Alec Ferris
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Re: Whats the weirdest thing you have seen whilst paddling

Post by Alec Ferris » Sat Apr 02, 2011 10:25 pm

Naturists in the Ardeche gorge. Thank £&;% for short-sightedness!

In practice, "French nudists" never turns out how it reads on paper...
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Re: Whats the weirdest thing you have seen whilst paddling

Post by hereorkayaking » Sat Apr 02, 2011 10:32 pm

Alec Ferris wrote:Naturists in the Ardeche gorge. Thank £&;% for short-sightedness!
Some days you want Binoculars mind!
Most days, yes i agree, being short sighted would be preferable.

Steve
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slaughter950
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Re: Whats the weirdest thing you have seen whilst paddling

Post by slaughter950 » Sun Apr 03, 2011 12:32 am

Seriously, when was the last time you saw a fit french naturist?...
Even the mildly hot ones have hairy pits.

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Re: Whats the weirdest thing you have seen whilst paddling

Post by hereorkayaking » Sun Apr 03, 2011 10:27 am

I spent 4 summers working as a river leader and Chief instructor on the Ardeche, you soon pick up where people sunbathe.

Its not all about the naturist beach. Some people there are French. Alot though are German.

What you often get is French people who arent actually staying on the site, but are day trippping, pull up on the beach to sun bathe. The site owner (who likes like Conan the Barbarian but naked) doesnt mind as long as people dont take the piss.

Also from the nudist beach down to Sauze, people start to pull over to sun bathe and relax more, so you get more topless people paddling down in the boats.
More people pulled over on beaches sun bathing and there is also another campsite called Camping les Grottes. Which isnt a nudist campsite. But a darn good amount of the campers treat it as one, especially the beach. and if you know which rocks to look between you find sunbathing people.

Also around about here people like to walk upstream on the banks from Sauze and chill out in the gorge. Again alot of people like to strip off.

There are only so many places suitable to get the best sunbathing spot with access from the water. So you get people pulling up in the same places.
All you gotta do is know where to look.

Steve

NB (Of course im not suggesting that everyone that sunbathes in the on the river is attractive, or female, or not hairy. Just that there are defiantly some that are, if you know where to look.)
If in doubt, boof left.

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Re: Whats the weirdest thing you have seen whilst paddling

Post by jmmoxon » Sun Apr 03, 2011 7:49 pm

Most of the nudists on the Ardeche are German, but it's also a popular French family holiday venue...

However, we did see a couple of guys doing the descent on an inflatable crocodile...

Mike
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Re: Whats the weirdest thing you have seen whilst paddling

Post by PaddyW » Mon Apr 04, 2011 2:50 pm

Weirdest thing? A duck billed platypus and shiny golden flakes of metal that was either fool's gold or gold, (both on the same river).

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Alec Ferris
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Re: Whats the weirdest thing you have seen whilst paddling

Post by Alec Ferris » Mon Apr 04, 2011 3:37 pm

jmmoxon wrote:nudists...
paddlersteve wrote:nakedness...
Kayak-Bloke wrote:starkers...
Anyone else see a theme emerging?
Hey don't worry, jus' live 'til ya die- QOTSA

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Re: Whats the weirdest thing you have seen whilst paddling

Post by -Ginge- » Mon Apr 04, 2011 3:40 pm

Alec Ferris wrote:
jmmoxon wrote:nudists...
paddlersteve wrote:nakedness...
Kayak-Bloke wrote:starkers...
Anyone else see a theme emerging?

How many times does a wierd thing have to occurfor it to become common place?

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Re: Whats the weirdest thing you have seen whilst paddling

Post by jmmoxon » Mon Apr 04, 2011 3:57 pm

On the Ardeche it's pretty much an everyday occurence...
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Re: Whats the weirdest thing you have seen whilst paddling

Post by banzer » Mon Apr 04, 2011 4:30 pm

ianletton wrote: I was once on the Etive on your average cold miserable Scottish day (I think I was wearing my dry-suit...) and we rounded the corner just above the crack of dawn to find two girls, one on either side of the river, with very little clothing on and well and truly stuck.
Was one of the girls actually called Dawn...........?

While paddling the Lochy near FW on a summer's day, we saw Zena- FW's resident pole / lapdancer, sunbathing naked with two large dogs. She didn't bat an eyelid.
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Re: Whats the weirdest thing you have seen whilst paddling

Post by Jon_Brown » Mon Apr 04, 2011 6:26 pm

banzer wrote:
ianletton wrote: I was once on the Etive on your average cold miserable Scottish day (I think I was wearing my dry-suit...) and we rounded the corner just above the crack of dawn to find two girls, one on either side of the river, with very little clothing on and well and truly stuck.
Was one of the girls actually called Dawn...........?

FW's resident pole / lapdancer, sunbathing naked with two large dogs.
Puppies surely?

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Re: Whats the weirdest thing you have seen whilst paddling

Post by John Saunders » Mon Apr 04, 2011 9:11 pm

To anyone currently marking up a map of places to watch out for ladies with a lack of clothing whilst paddling, sorry for diverting the thread, and I was only driving alongside rather than paddling a river (bonus points for naming it - background t-shirts give a heavy hint) when I saw this last summer...

Image

P.S. Dan Povey, the family apologises for thinking we'd taken a wrong turning and had ended up on the Wye!

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Re: Whats the weirdest thing you have seen whilst paddling

Post by Mr.Ric » Mon Apr 04, 2011 10:29 pm

Rounding a corner heading towards Were Giffard on the River Torridge a couple of years ago we saw what looked like a wooden cabinet washed up in the trees, on closer inspection it was a coffin. We didn't stop to see if it were full...

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Re: Whats the weirdest thing you have seen whilst paddling

Post by Ian F » Mon Apr 04, 2011 11:29 pm

hereorkayaking wrote:I feel sorry for a group of English boaters paddling the Cerveyrette in the French alps in June 2010.

The group pulled into a layby that my group had been Bivi'ing in. Checked out the water levels, asked what I knew of the river. At this point I was one of the only people up, getting the kettle on.
About 20/30 mins later my good friend Pete has woken up told us hes going for a bath and that enless we wanted to cop an eyeful of naked man then we shouldnt go down stream.
A few mins later and cue the kayaking group, they round a corner and find Pete stark naked in the middle of the river with a bar of soap (standing as it was too cold to sit).

Im terribly sorry if you where in this group.
That would be us, I think. I think Aidan got an eye-full, but by the time I got to that eddy, Pete had dipped down to his chest to hide himself. My fingers were numb dipping into the water - I don't know how long it took for Pete to recover. No sign of the bar of soap.

The river made a nice change, by the way. Looked almost too low, but could have got manic with more water. 2 harder bits and a nice finish on the reservoir. The get-out would be worrying if the reservoir ever spilled over the dam though.

Ian

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Re: Whats the weirdest thing you have seen whilst paddling

Post by Petteri » Tue Apr 05, 2011 8:07 am

A small tornado on a river. It lifted riverwater up to maybe 20 meters and the diameter was around 5 meters. It had a scary voice to it too.

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Re: Whats the weirdest thing you have seen whilst paddling

Post by cathalferris » Tue Apr 05, 2011 9:33 am

On the Maigue, (flows through Adare, Co. Limerick). I was running safety for a Uni of Limerick club trip. I saw a nidely rounded boulder in the middle of the river, where I knew there was a splattable rock, so i pointed out to the up and coming hotshot to 'Go and splat that'. He did, it went splat and then it deflated as the kayak tore the skin off the dead bloated cow that had trapped on said rock. The smell from the cow was horrifying, and there was 'stuff' left all over the bottom of the boat.. As well as a slightly green-around-the-gills paddler!

There are definitely more weird things, I'm having trouble remembering them..

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Re: Whats the weirdest thing you have seen whilst paddling

Post by Mark Mulrain » Tue Apr 05, 2011 5:59 pm

My friends claim they saw a penguin on the Spean Gorge

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Re: Whats the weirdest thing you have seen whilst paddling

Post by biketastik » Tue Apr 05, 2011 6:18 pm

sounds like member of our club... he looks like a penguin when hes got his drysuit on lol :D

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Re: Whats the weirdest thing you have seen whilst paddling

Post by Big Henry » Wed Apr 06, 2011 9:38 pm

quicky wrote:Dead bloated cow in the Dee just below Sandy Lane, All you could see was this massice bloated backside till you got up close. Apparently they quite often go for swims by mistake.
Gavin. wrote:While paddling the Northesk enjoying a nice Sunday paddle I spotted a sheep in a tree 12 feet above the water.
Dead bloated cow 15-20ft up a tree on the Swale.

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Re: Whats the weirdest thing you have seen whilst paddling

Post by George Mcmillan » Sun Apr 10, 2011 9:43 pm

Another dead bloated cow but this time on the Nith 2 years ago. Interesting point is it was 5 metres up in the tree. None of the local farmers wanted anything to do with it. Sepa eventually sorted it. Don't know how though. great river
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Re: Whats the weirdest thing you have seen whilst paddling

Post by Chunda » Sun Apr 10, 2011 9:55 pm

Whilst paddling in Nepal seeing a pair of legs (below the knee) sticking put of a funeral pyre.

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Re: Whats the weirdest thing you have seen whilst paddling

Post by TheJesusofkayaking » Mon Apr 11, 2011 9:25 am

I was paddling the local canal once and there was a young couple geting very amourous with eachother on a bench just back from the towpath. As I was having a very relaxing paddle my boat was silent as they came into view and my presence didn't distract them one bit. Come to think of it they wouldn't have stopped even if they saw me!

So I just sat there watching them for half an hour then went on my way.......... :)

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Re: Whats the weirdest thing you have seen whilst paddling

Post by SwamP » Mon Apr 11, 2011 9:33 am

There’s not much in life that genuinely upsets me….but I missed some kayak nakedness on Saturday…I’m not over it yet :(
Lets not try to understand each other. Thanks.

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Re: Whats the weirdest thing you have seen whilst paddling

Post by adrian j pullin » Mon Apr 11, 2011 1:55 pm

banzer wrote:
... Zena- FW's resident pole / lapdancer...
How do you know this? :-)
Cheers

Adrian J Pullin
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Re: Whats the weirdest thing you have seen whilst paddling

Post by David Fairweather » Mon Apr 11, 2011 10:43 pm

I once saw Randyfandango on the Dart trying to persuade a sheep out of the river and back onto dry land by standing behind the poor beast and pushing it with his thighs. Quite a sight.

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