Self imposed Traversing Watercourse Anti Trespassing Sentinels.
Hi I would like to make an agreement with you please, it is completely different to what we used to offer because we have decided that now the fish need to be looked after, yes it is in total contradiction to many fisheries across the land, but it is because some bright spark (dim) said we can use this angle to stop canoeists interrupting our fishing. Our fellow anglers who also happen to work for the EA are trying this new angle out, but are trying to sneak it through without it being seen as pro angling policy, because they know they are not allowed to promote one activity over another. We are definitely not going to mention the fact that this was already tried and rejected and the fishery involved is actively inviting canoeists onto their water throughout october, we will just dismiss that because it has no relevance. And Scotland, that does not count, nor do tidal waters, it is not like the fish come from the sea is it now! Oh did I mention that just down the road the neighbouring fisheries has proposed an avian cull to wipe out naturally occurring predators, we clearly do not condone such action because we promote environmental protection for the entire river system. Actually no I did not come to offer agreement, I remember, I came to shout, you idiots what do you think you are doing canoeing on rivers, you are all trespassers, you have no insurance, you have no understanding of the environment at all. Anyway summer is here again, wake me up when September ends, because those little fish have got their calendars marked and their watches primed, no do not be absurd, rain in October enough to bring the river into fine condition do not be silly. Sorry what is that you say? You canoeists include Police officers, EA officers, National Trust wardens, environmental resource managers, marine biologists, lawyers, aquatic vets, water authority pollution control scientists, RNLI members, Mountain rescue personnel, that does not matter one jot, I know better than you, I mean, you should have seen who I had in the back last week, it was only that Griff Rhys Jones and boy he did make me laugh, he said he would lend me a paddle because I appeared to be up a creek but I cannot remember the name of it. Canoeing it is just not allowed, you name I can think of some reason to stop it, and I can, you will respect my authority