You Know Your A Paddler If... (Now with 100 Reasons)

Inland paddling
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Simon Westgarth
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Post by Simon Westgarth »

capsized8 wrote:You drive a car that smells like the inside of a dead badger

You and your kit are a biological hazard and should, by law, be incinerated
That is way I have managed to succeed in having a paddlers car and the car does not smell like a paddlers car. This has been the case for the last 3 cars. The rules are NO boats inside, no wet gear that is not in a dry bag and no wet paddlers.

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Sophie King
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Post by Sophie King »

When the value of the kit in your car and the boats on your roof far exceed the value of your car.

When you wake up and your first thought is has it been raining.

When you put paddling before work.

You have hard skin on the inside of your thumbs from gripping your paddle.

Money is spent in your mind on paddling kit way in advance of getting that money.

When if you won the lottery you would embark on a mega paddling trip the very next morning ;-) xxxx

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TechnoEngineer
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Post by TechnoEngineer »

Mont wrote:I find myself edging whilst reverse parking.
LOL - I find myself edging whilst throwing the car around bends and roundabouts.
XL-Burn-3 / Monstar / XPlore-X/ My Videos

garya
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Post by garya »

if ...

mentioning rubber skirts, paddles and tie down straps in coversation gets strange looks from others.... (and your not an MP)

Gary
Last edited by garya on Tue Nov 04, 2008 12:19 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Kayak-Bloke
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Post by Kayak-Bloke »

When being shown all the features on the latest SAAB saloon all you can think about is how that hatch in the back seats would be perfect for putting paddles through.....

diddlydan
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Post by diddlydan »

you ask your friend who is teaching you to ski to refer to the upstream edge or the downstream edge on the skis rather than uphill and downhill....

All made much more sense after that, thanksfully also a paddler and knew what I meant!!

jaq
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Post by jaq »

When travelling in convoy the use of river signals out the window is the preferred method of communicating with the other cars.

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Performance Kayaks
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Post by Performance Kayaks »

...You have taken your boat with you to the car showroom.

...You made BMW DRILL HOLES in the roof of your New Mini Cooper, for the Roof-rack Fixings.

...You drive the Van to Scotland because it's more Economical than your Diesel Leon with the boats on the roof* and it's better advertising!

* Or is that just Skinflint?

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capsized8
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Post by capsized8 »

You have a panic attack on reaching Level6 in the multi-storey carpark.
Last edited by capsized8 on Tue Nov 04, 2008 12:35 pm, edited 1 time in total.
peace and good padlin.

TomWardill
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Post by TomWardill »

jaq wrote:When travelling in convoy the use of river signals out the window is the preferred method of communicating with the other cars.
This.

You wonder if sign language is anything like paddle signals, and occasionally refer to parking as eddying.
Tom Wardill

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Performance Kayaks
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Post by Performance Kayaks »

capsized8 wrote:You have a panic attack on reaching Level6
I think that they have very nice kit, thank you very much!
Last edited by Performance Kayaks on Tue Nov 04, 2008 12:49 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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RVabdn
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Post by RVabdn »

all your t-shirts are from paddling clubs/trips/events and 90% are designed by someone you know.

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capsized8
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Post by capsized8 »

Performance Kayaks wrote:
capsized8 wrote:You have a panic attack on reaching Level6

I think that they have very nice kit, thank you very much!
It must be the prices then ;0)
peace and good padlin.

SJ
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Post by SJ »

Ed Lefley wrote:Your definition of paddling is not wading ankle deep in the sea
I was proud of my four-year-old son on Sunday. We were just back from Cornwall and showing my parents our photos of our walk beside the stream flowing down Rocky Valley. My father asked Robbie whether he had gone for a paddle in the stream, to which my son replied, "No, Daddy didn't take a boat with us."

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Sophie King
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Post by Sophie King »

Cute

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Bob Flanagan III
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Post by Bob Flanagan III »

You pass time while travelling to rivers playing Mornington Crescent of river that you have paddled. Substitute Mornington Crescent for Hurley on 4 gates.

Just me?? Oh well

DaveWortley
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Post by DaveWortley »

Poke wrote:You return to work from your holiday (weekend!) more exhausted than when you left.
So very very true!

Calum
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Post by Calum »

Money is spent in your mind on paddling kit way in advance of getting that money.
This happens a lot :-(
1. Everytime you pass over a bridge you check to see if theres a gnarly river underneath. (and your angry when it turns out to be a road)
Lol, this happens to!

I sometimes base my bike rides around rivers, trying to see as many as I can. lol

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ianletton
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Post by ianletton »

Your on your way home from a paddling holiday and you are already looking ahead to see when you can get out next!!!

John-Row
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Post by John-Row »

.....When you move house you find suitable homes for your boats and kit way before thinking about bed / sofa/ kitchen / living furniture!!


.....when you think up fantasy lines on streams that if you cried would have more water in them.


.....when your boat spends more time on the roof of your car than in the garage.


....when you make sure your new car comes with roof racks (but not as an option, as a clincher for the deal!!)


....When you consider using swimming pool floats as extra buoyancy and outfitting for your kayaks.


....when you feel daft dropping paddling lingo into a conversation with a non paddler by habit and they give you a blank look in return!!




and last but not least for me....

....when you can tell river levels by sound and volume way before actually seeing the water flow!!

Risto M
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Post by Risto M »

When you store your boat in the middle of your living room, and sit on it in the evenings whilst watching telly/browsing UKRGB

Eliza Dolittle
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Post by Eliza Dolittle »

From Mike _M on the DW2008 thread

10 Ways to Tell You’ve Become a DW paddler

1. You consider waterside A a sprint race
2. Your kids all buy you Duct tape or Hellys for xmas.
3. You have Paul Ralph on speed dial.
4. You name your pet animals after portages.
5. Your Hellys have developed their own life forms
6. Your Calendar starts at Waterside A
7. Your neighbours don’t think its odd when you take a boat on your morning jog.
8. You always cut jam sandwiches into 1” squares.
9. You can no longer see your lawn for old boats.
10. When you shop for a new car the most important features are the heater and the roof rack.

DW paddlers may seem a strange bunch to many white water paddlers but it is reassuring to know that they still rate a good car and smelly thermals.

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Ross W
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Post by Ross W »

When paddlers out number non paddlers in your phone book
Dartmoor / Plymouth based
www.rosswildman.co.uk

Glyn B
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Post by Glyn B »

When you advise a non-paddling client what grade of water they should be doing to make that shoulder work! Doh!

When you get annoyed with clients who ask 'Did you do any canoeing this weekend?'

When you knock a hole in your garage wall to accomodate your sea kayak!!! (Hi Alan !!!)

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Lowri Davies
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Post by Lowri Davies »

Ross W wrote:When paddlers out number non paddlers in your phone book
By say, 200-1?
all your t-shirts are from paddling clubs/trips/events and 90% are designed by someone you know.
...when you have to sell off kayak-related clothing on UKRGB!?

When you have a 5 tier stack-a-box system plus drying rail specifically to organise your paddling kit.

When you describe a day of cold / low water / less-than-perfect paddling as "better than doing the lawn".

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buck197
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Post by buck197 »

By smuggling new kit into the house so your partner doesn't know you have spent more cash on essential items. Additionally disposing of labels/tags to remove evidence of new purchases before arriving home.
Brian Taylor
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Glyn B
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Post by Glyn B »

When your wife refers to you watching 'porn' on the computer and you both know she means the UKRGB!

bib_bob_euroslap
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Post by bib_bob_euroslap »

When you find members of the opposite sex in wetsuits and paddling kit attractive when they are in fact the least flattering items of clothing in the world ever!

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Ross W
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Post by Ross W »

bib_bob_euroslap wrote:When you find members of the opposite sex in wetsuits and paddling kit attractive when they are in fact the least flattering items of clothing in the world ever!
My current girlfriend tis because of the above, lol So its true!
Dartmoor / Plymouth based
www.rosswildman.co.uk

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wezzzy
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Post by wezzzy »

When you think about trading in your economical family car for a van that you can adapt into a boat carrying camper for less that £100

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