What is the weirdest comment you have heard whilst paddling

Inland paddling
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What is the weirdest comment you have heard whilst paddling

Post by moose » Sun Sep 14, 2008 4:15 pm

Whilst paddling this weekend I heard some of the most bizzaar comments made by fellow paddlers.

1: The tryweryn is full of dead bodies that get frequently washed downstream (graveyard section)

2:Blue plastic is weaker than all other plastic

3:Does this cag make my face look fat

Now I know it is a full moon weekend and that people can change in to wierd creature but it did seem to me that there were a few strange bods on the tryweryn this weekend

Whats the strangest thing that you have heard whilst paddling?

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Post by meatballs » Sun Sep 14, 2008 4:19 pm

"I hope I don't get wet."

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Ed Lefley
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Post by Ed Lefley » Sun Sep 14, 2008 6:09 pm

The Ardeche is the worlds only circular river... and then finding people that believe it...

Ray Latham
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Post by Ray Latham » Sun Sep 14, 2008 7:26 pm

"I'll lead down this one".

Then as you get to the drop the person sits in an eddy waiting for you to pass!! Confusing.

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Post by cliffhangermatt » Sun Sep 14, 2008 7:34 pm

"Daddy, where's that man's legs?" (she was about three or four)
Matt Floyd

Reverse hanging draws.......eeeh?

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Mark R
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Post by Mark R » Sun Sep 14, 2008 7:35 pm

"I think I'll walk this one" - Andy McMahon.
Mark Rainsley

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Post by Jim » Sun Sep 14, 2008 9:57 pm

Quite a good one I heard in California a few years ago, and can never find the right moment to use for myself was:

"That's not a good run for vegetarians, it's kind of meaty!"

This pearl of wisdom was imparted by a solo paddler egressing the Merced where it becomes a mere 4+, I was waiting to get on there when my mates arrived. It's not that I'm a vegetarian, just that it wasn't my day to get on where the rest did.

Dave Manby
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Post by Dave Manby » Mon Sep 15, 2008 8:16 am

Allegedly heard by raft guides on the Zambezi,
"Do these rocks go all the way to the bottom?"

"This number 9 (?) - if you don't run it; why did they put it there?"

Or overheard by me on the bridge in Llangollen during one of the International slaloms (not wanting to racially stereotype but it was in an American accent)
"Look self-righting kayaks now"
"Gee there must be a strong whirlpool there - they are all turning around for that gate."

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Re: What is the weirdest comment you have heard whilst paddl

Post by TheKrikkitWars » Mon Sep 15, 2008 10:23 am

moose wrote:2:Blue plastic is weaker than all other plastic
Yeah It's actually Robson's Orange plastic.

Weirdest thing I've ever heard, "Your boat isn't full, I could fit at least 50 ferrets between your legs!"

Joshua Kelly

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Post by briman » Mon Sep 15, 2008 10:34 am

From a member of this forum whilst paddling the Dart a 'few' years ago.

'Am i deceived or is this river going down hill?'


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Post by moonbeam » Mon Sep 15, 2008 10:35 am

"that was awesome! lets go again"
"lets ROLL"
"...but hopefully not rock"

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Post by morsey » Mon Sep 15, 2008 10:50 am

"Oh look its canoe tennis, Oh no wait a minute there is no net. Must be canoe Basketball. Hang on, those are not hoops. Oh well its canoe something."

That gem came from a dockside tourist at the Bristol Canoe Polo tournament. We chuckled as he thought out loud. :-)

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Post by richstep » Mon Sep 15, 2008 6:47 pm

you'll be alright.


rich s

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Post by peterH » Mon Sep 15, 2008 7:38 pm

"Have you noticed how most of the rivers seem to flow in that direction?" *Penny points out of one side of the car*

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Post by Eliza Dolittle » Mon Sep 15, 2008 10:19 pm

"I'm coming to join you"
said passer-by then stripped to his underpants and dived into Bristol Docks and started swimming towards me and another lady paddler. We kept our distance and directed him to the nearest steps!

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Post by Ray Latham » Mon Sep 15, 2008 10:32 pm

richstep wrote:you'll be alright.


rich s

Who said it Rich, we'll get them ;o)

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Post by GeoffBowles » Tue Sep 16, 2008 10:05 am

Picture a group paddling canoes on the Mawddach estuary. Instructor points out that the tide must have turned, as the moored boats are now all pointing the other way.

Youngster pipes up "How do the boats know?"

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Post by stellaaa » Tue Sep 16, 2008 10:46 am

Any thing that Flic mears says.

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Post by Nofio Mawr » Tue Sep 16, 2008 4:32 pm

"King Kong has got really big hands hasn't he" #!*?

I have also heard the urban myth about blue plastic (probably from the the same source of info).

I was also then told that Red and yellow are the hardest on pyranha boats ###!?

Where does this come from?

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Post by TheKrikkitWars » Tue Sep 16, 2008 4:38 pm

Nofio Mawr wrote:I have also heard the urban myth about blue plastic (probably from the the same source of info).
It's not entirely untrue, some colourant additives used in HDPE can have a weakening effect. As far as I am aware however, this is something which is measurable in laboratory tests, yet actually remains insignificant in real world applications.
Nofio Mawr wrote: Where does this come from?
Frequently it's people BS'ing, though some have carried out tests (both the plastic industry, and boaters) which range from carefully controlled experiments to altogether unscientific mucking about.

Joshua Kelly

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Post by Chrace » Wed Sep 17, 2008 1:50 pm

Nofio Mawr wrote:I have also heard the urban myth about blue plastic (probably from the the same source of info).

I was also then told that Red and yellow are the hardest on pyranha boats ###!?
I've read that on the tinterweb as well, so it must be true!

- Blue is softer
- Red is faster
- Green throws people out randomly
- Yellows runs rapids better without people in them
- Orange looks better in pictures

It's all facts! Believe me, I read it on the net!

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Post by Millsy » Wed Sep 17, 2008 2:02 pm

Heard whilst paddling the Graveyard many years ago...

"Your too heavy for that boat".

"No I'm not. I'm surprisingly lighter then I look".

"I know what I'm talking about, and your too heavy".

"And I'm telling you I'm lighter the I look". At which point the paddler pops his deck and shows Mr Know-it-all he only has one leg.

Very surreal.....
Age and wisdom don't necessarily go together. Some people just become stupid with more authority.

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Post by Natalie » Wed Sep 17, 2008 5:53 pm

I really hope there is no truth in the blue boats stories as I have just spashed out and bought one.

I wonder if it's a reason why there seems to be so few of them around.

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Post by Randy Fandango » Wed Sep 17, 2008 6:17 pm

Seft to group: Right! We're gonna do some strokework.
Group: Oh. Dull....
One of group: Can't we play a game?
Self: What game would you like to play?
Group member: How about that one where we all paddle along and when you shout 'Stop!' we all paddle backwards?
Self: Err.... okay. Guys -- I've got a great game for you!


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Post by ross_t1989 » Wed Sep 17, 2008 7:41 pm

From a fisherman sat opposite our club.

"come over here so I can stab you"

I told him as lovely as that sounded Ithought I'd stay put but he was welcome to swim over.

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Post by Pyro » Wed Sep 17, 2008 8:10 pm

At the bottom of Warden Gorge on the Tyne Tour

Robyn: "So which way do we go now?"

Me: "Erm. Downstream, perhaps?"
Pyro's Yard - Random Wafflings

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Post by Hobley » Wed Sep 17, 2008 8:15 pm

"I bet you can squeal like a pig!"

Said to Paul Collins (aka PC here) by me when he swam on an uber spate run of the Mawddach. He had ripped his wet suit to look like a pair of cowboy longjohns (with the flap in the back) and was suffering from a certain amount of rear end bleeding.....

Got him home to Aberystwyth, and made him watch a video of the above quoted movie. He felt 'uncomfortable' watching 'that' scene.

For you young 'uns, best paddling movie every, Deliverence!

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Post by Billy The Fisherman » Wed Sep 17, 2008 9:36 pm

"Are you going windsurfing?" asked by an intoxicated trucker in the Lake District when he spotted the boat and paddles.

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Post by splash2 » Wed Sep 17, 2008 9:45 pm

"I am not paddleing in the rain, I'll get wet"

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Post by moose » Wed Sep 17, 2008 11:02 pm

Where's your bike. said a bus driver who picked me up outside wrexham hospital after nearly snapping my head off. He mistook my wetshorts and wetboots as cycling gear.

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