A Damn Good 'SPANKING'!

Inland paddling
timrockape
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Post by timrockape »

a paddling MIC i know, always the master of understatement, used to refer to any situation which would have dire consequences on the rock or water as ...no good will come of it...
Never put your body where your brain hasn't been first...

Slim999
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Post by Slim999 »

It's not big, it's not clever and it'l end in tears.

Or as what is quite often said to me.

You F*cked that one up diddnt you!!

Slim.

greensurfer
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Post by greensurfer »

"I enjoy getting worked by big holes"


Mmmmm, that reminds me I must check the parental control of this laptop!

AliceB
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Post by AliceB »

An old Bangor Uni favourit is Gobble Monkeys

As in after taking a swim in a hole..."did the gobble monkeys get you?"

Gobble Monkeys come in both fresh and salt water varieties and are generally thought to use differing weapons depending on the species, one variety prefers to whip you with motor bike chains. These little critters are often responsible for nicking wetsuit boots/shoes and have even been know to pull down wet suit shorts*!

For a more detailed description/explanation of gobble monkeys ask T' Boy.

*Ask Grumpy boater about this...

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Pyro
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Post by Pyro »

I've had a long standing affinity for laughing at people who've been 'communing with the Fishpeople.

Comes from our New Year Scotland trip and reading the description of the Averon in the Scottish Whitewater guide after too many beers. (seriously, read the description, see what you think)

It's been decided that the Fishpeople are a small race of creatures whose sole (no pun intended) purpose in life is to move rocks to trip up kayakers. Hence "See any Fishpeople while you were down there?"

Kayak-Girl83
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Post by Kayak-Girl83 »

You got f**ked!

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Dave_C
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Post by Dave_C »

That one opened up a WHOLE can of whoop-ass!

Sam the assistant
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Post by Sam the assistant »

That one opened up a WHOLE can of whoop-ass!

And used you as the can opener
"a bit cheeky"
"fairly impudent"
"sporty"
You allways know you are in trouble when a section is described as 'interesting'

or as

3+ by an associate of mine
'It seemed like a good idea at the time' - the most heard phrase in A&E

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pwilkinson
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Post by pwilkinson »

Sam the assistant wrote: You allways know you are in trouble when a section is described as 'interesting'

or as

3+ by an associate of mine
"It's just pushy 2" is one of my favourites for 'interesting' sections.

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Randy Fandango
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Post by Randy Fandango »

AliceB wrote:An old Bangor Uni favourit is Gobble Monkeys

For a more detailed description/explanation of gobble monkeys ask T' Boy.
The Gobble Monkeys were originally discovered by the one and only (??) Fred West (he who is peering over my left shoulder in my avatar.) Tom was introduced to them by this unique individual.
Fred appears and disappears on the paddling scene as the years go by like a very poor conjuring trick.
Sadly Fred usually inhabits a world where the Gobble Monkeys (who beat you with sticks I believe) and other such river demons actually exist.....
Giles

Steve B
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Post by Steve B »

paul25 wrote:"It's just pushy 2" is one of my favourites for 'interesting' sections.
"Just an ordinary rapid" is how my first instructor used to describe those continuous grade 2's that are actually quite hard when you're a beginner.
Steve Balcombe

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David Fairweather
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Post by David Fairweather »

I know of at least four people that don't trust me when I say "boily grade 3".

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woody
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Post by woody »

The river/hole is going to own you

You are gonna spend some time in the green room (downtime)

Woody

Digimeister
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Post by Digimeister »

Randy Fandango wrote: The Gobble Monkeys were originally discovered by the one and only (??) Fred West (he who is peering over my left shoulder in my avatar.) Tom was introduced to them by this unique individual.
Fred appears and disappears on the paddling scene as the years go by like a very poor conjuring trick.
Giles
Not the Fred West, obviously. I remember seeing the name on a slalom score sheet not long after the West trial was in the papers a lot, and feeling sorry for the guy with such an awful namesake.
"If only I knew who in fact I am, I should cease to behave as what I think I am; and if I stopped behaving as what I think I am, I should know who I am."
Me - ICCC

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Randy Fandango
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Post by Randy Fandango »

Digimeister wrote:
Randy Fandango wrote: The Gobble Monkeys were originally discovered by the one and only (??) Fred West (he who is peering over my left shoulder in my avatar.) Tom was introduced to them by this unique individual.
Fred appears and disappears on the paddling scene as the years go by like a very poor conjuring trick.
Giles
Not the Fred West, obviously. I remember seeing the name on a slalom score sheet not long after the West trial was in the papers a lot, and feeling sorry for the guy with such an awful namesake.
Well -- he's the only Fred West who's peering over my shoulder in my avatar....
Giles

clarky999
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Post by clarky999 »

You've been owned mate!

Always a good one. Especially with the accompanying oooh's

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Dr Repper
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Post by Dr Repper »

'Worked' is a long standing favourite of mine, along with "oops, he's toast!"

"Thoroughly battered" is also good.
What's the worst that could happen?

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steddyjames
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Post by steddyjames »

'It'll all come out in wash!' or 'Trouble at Mill?'

Both requiring a Yorkshire accent to get the full effect.

David McCraw

Post by David McCraw »

So, nobody else would say they'd been 'roasted'.. who would have thought?

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Dr Repper
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Post by Dr Repper »

David McCraw wrote:So, nobody else would say they'd been 'roasted'.. who would have thought?
No. That would conjure uncomfortable images of seedy hotel rooms and cocaine addled footballers.
What's the worst that could happen?

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Tom_Laws
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Post by Tom_Laws »

A ruddy good shoeing...

Taking the beatdown...

Slim999
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Post by Slim999 »

Cant be any Norfolkians (try sayin that fast!) on this forum.

I aint seen the word LEARY yet.

They use that for everything.

Slim.

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Surf or Die
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Re: A Damn Good 'SPANKING'!

Post by Surf or Die »

B.O.H.I.C.A..............
Andy

Daddy tell me about girls?

Son, one day you will make a girl very happy for a short period of time. Then she'll leave you and be with new men who are ten times better than you could ever hope to be.

These men are called kayakers.

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Grumpy old man
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Re: A Damn Good 'SPANKING'!

Post by Grumpy old man »

Ooops..! I think I'll take the other line.
Paddle well, Have fun.

Lloyd Allin

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Charlie123
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Re: A Damn Good 'SPANKING'!

Post by Charlie123 »

Wathunked

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SwamP
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Re: A Damn Good 'SPANKING'!

Post by SwamP »

PUMP
PUMPED
PUMPING
PUMPAGE
PUMPATION
Lets not try to understand each other. Thanks.

Glyn B
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Re: A Damn Good 'SPANKING'!

Post by Glyn B »

"Banjoed"

kayaking_matt
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Re: A Damn Good 'SPANKING'!

Post by kayaking_matt »

my favorite phrase has got to be getting a good munting

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Paul S Jr
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Re: A Damn Good 'SPANKING'!

Post by Paul S Jr »

To get a..
Pasting
Spanking
Hammering

To get..
Mullied
Caned
Trashed
Paul Smurthwaite

stewarty905
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Re: A Damn Good 'SPANKING'!

Post by stewarty905 »

SHAFTED
Led into something you think was gonna be cool but wasn't
WASTED
Paddled into something you knew the line for but fecked it and got wasted
NUMPTY
Somebody who got told the specific line but decided they new better and could choose the new line of their choice

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