A Damn Good 'SPANKING'!

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planet
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A Damn Good 'SPANKING'!

Post by planet »

I think it would be interesting to explore, discuss and perhaps decide which colourful phrases best describe the act of getting 'shown who's boss' by the river (or sea). For example:

"If you take that line you're gonna get SPANKED", or,

"If you miss that eddy - it's CURTAINS FOR SKIPPY!", or,

"I ended up in that hole last week and got TOTALLY MULLERED!"

Get the drift?

Carry on!

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Tuomas
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Post by Tuomas »

If you mess that up, you will be in a WORLD OF TROUBLE.

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Duckboy
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Post by Duckboy »

Please excuse the 'ghetto' type, it is for effect.

If you miss that

"The river is gunna lay the smack down on yo ass"

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Adrian Cooper
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Post by Adrian Cooper »

That reminds me of a T-shirt I have from the Cardinal Ratzinger Fan Club (don't ask) - ''Putting the Smackdown on Heresy Since 1981''.

NPearce
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Post by NPearce »

Our club usually refers to a 'Good Kicking', usually after they have been told 'You REALLY don't want to be swimming THERE', the bigger the emphasis the bigger the potential kicking.

If the said kicking it a rocky one the individual would be 'in a whole world of pain', but usually anypotential for a serious kickings deserves at least one reference to a 'Dead Dave' moment, who has received the clubs most impressive kicking and had the rest of us seriously worried.

Example:
'Hey Andy*, You Really dont want to be swimming THERE, as you will get a good kicking, just after the kicking there you will float into a whole world of pain, and that stopper there will give you your very own Dead Dave day'

Nothing like filling your colleagues with confidence...

Nathan

* name not changed to preserve the innocent.

woolyjumper
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Post by woolyjumper »

Sitting in an eddy with a mate waiting to pick up the pieces as rope gets your man, One of the lads turned around and says 'There's the leathering he needed as a kid', ever since any hole that'll give you a kicking is described as 'it'll make a child of ya'

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2fluid
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Post by 2fluid »

When looking at a nasty drop/hole/rapid the phrase "Do you know what NEMESIS means?" tends to come out a fair bit.

And, usually it means someone gets a right bumming.

(usually me!)

GeoBoater
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Post by GeoBoater »

My two favorites:

'Having your a$$ handed to you' by the river.

and

Getting 'chundered' in a stopper.

Ryan

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StoneWeasel
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Post by StoneWeasel »

I slightly dubious phrase that I quite like and is used by a few of the people I paddle with is Getting raped by the paddle snake. this means to have a beating where your paddles are forcibly removed from your grip. An example of usage would be "Jeff had to pop his deck and swim after being raped by the paddle snake in the washing machine"

Denzil

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Randy Fandango
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Post by Randy Fandango »

StoneWeasel wrote:I slightly dubious phrase that I quite like and is used by a few of the people I paddle with is Getting raped by the paddle snake. this means to have a beating where your paddles are forcibly removed from your grip. An example of usage would be "Jeff had to pop his deck and swim after being raped by the paddle snake in the washing machine"

Denzil
I have to be honest and say that I've always found this one and its various versions absolutely repellant.
I remember having to persuade a good friend who picked this phrase up during his first year at university that it really was quite disgusting and likely to make people who would otherwise like him think he was a grade A twat.
Just my thoughts.
Giles

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Tuomas
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Post by Tuomas »

I enjoy getting worked by big holes.

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Adrian Cooper
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Post by Adrian Cooper »

Could I support giles in his condemnation of some of these expressions. One I take particular exception to is 'good kicking' beloved by the likes of John Prescott when all that had happened was that he didn't get enough votes in an election.

One should be aware that, contrary to what happens in films when the thug gets continually kicked in the head by Jean-Claude Van Dam and simply jumps up for another go, in real live a kick in the head can kill people. Unfortunately, films like these, and the regular use of such expressions, mean that when people get involved in drunken fights outside a pub, they can so easily end up dead.

It's just not nice.

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Mr Hoppy
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Re: A Damn Good 'SPANKING'!

Post by Mr Hoppy »

planet wrote:I think it would be interesting to explore, discuss and perhaps decide which colourful phrases best describe the act of getting 'shown who's boss' by the river (or sea).
Really?

Even when it's raining?

Surely this is a summer conversation for when there's nothing better to do.

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lindsam
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Post by lindsam »

on falls..

"Fat b@as*rd go Bang"

this morphs to..

"Fat B@as*rd get totalled"
"Fat B@as*rd get trashed"

and so on..

and when about to shoot rapids.

"you know that pasting you are due for.."
Sanity is the playground for the unimaginative.

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mole
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Post by mole »

I quite like to go the other way, don't overstate the issue because your eyes can do that for you. We have a sliding scale of severity in the club;

"a bit cheeky"
"fairly impudent"
"sporty"

A paddler experiencing a sporty section or stopper can sometime come out looking "absolutely fascinated".

Neill
Sometimes it's just too much effor......aughhh

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Tim S
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Post by Tim S »

I've always been a fan of 'Getting a beat down'

And as my last significant swim was on the Gauley a few years ago, I was delighted to hear when I resurfaced "You got a Beat Down in the Ring dude!"

( I swam on the Iron Ring rapid )

Tim S

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cswalker
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Post by cswalker »

Tim S wrote:I've always been a fan of 'Getting a beat down'

And as my last significant swim was on the Gauley a few years ago, I was delighted to hear when I resurfaced "You got a Beat Down in the Ring dude!"

( I swam on the Iron Ring rapid )

Tim S
I heard your ring was quite so iron after that Timothy!!

"You got a Beat Down in the Ring dude!"

Such an American term, bless em..

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Dave T
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Post by Dave T »

A couple of personal favourites:

That drop/hole/stopper/rapid is Mahoosive!

He/she is going to get munched!

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Grumpy Fisherman
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Post by Grumpy Fisherman »

Dominated.

Owen

Andy123
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Post by Andy123 »

Empty
Last edited by Andy123 on Mon Sep 14, 2009 7:08 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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m0nkeymann
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Post by m0nkeymann »

Yep Mahoosive, Munched and mullered are the words of choice over here

Slim999
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Post by Slim999 »

It's gonna beat you like a ginger haired step child.

Or

That rivers gonna piss all over you.

Personaly I would rather be spanked than pissed on!!

Slim.

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feelingjustfine
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Post by feelingjustfine »

Just because one is feeling anxious about a particular rapid/drop on a river doesn't mean one has to forego good propper English grammar. Personally, I like to use it as an oppurtunity to explore the wonderfull gift which is English vocabulary.
I.e.
My goodness, what flabbergasting situation we have fallen upon on this outing!

OR

WOW! If I ever end up in that tow-back, goodness only knows what diabolical consequence this loathsome river will have in store for me and my little water craft!


Prehaps if we all practiced doing so, bypassers would see what a truly respectable and gentlemanly sport it is we indulge in.
Last edited by feelingjustfine on Fri Nov 24, 2006 6:29 pm, edited 2 times in total.
dam the dart :)

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Mark R
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Post by Mark R »

Surmanated.
Mark Rainsley
FACEBOOK

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Grumpy Fisherman
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Post by Grumpy Fisherman »

Shermanated?

Image

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Paul Stewart
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Post by Paul Stewart »

MarkR wrote:Surmanated.
nope...don't get this one Mark! Can't find it in the dictionary or have any idea what this might mean, please explain.
Paul

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feelingjustfine
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Post by feelingjustfine »

Prehaps it was just a simple mis-spelling of Sermon
- one of the meanings of this word (straying away from the relegious meaning for it) is-

any serious speech, discourse, or exhortation, esp. on a moral issue.

So my interpretation of it was, Sermonated- to approve and seal off the point just put accross being that of mine.
OK. Shut up chris......
dam the dart :)

Steve B
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Post by Steve B »

thestewarts96 wrote:
MarkR wrote:Surmanated.
nope...don't get this one Mark! Can't find it in the dictionary or have any idea what this might mean, please explain.
Clue: http://www.ukriversguidebook.co.uk/foru ... rman#95804
Steve Balcombe

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Gavin Shedden
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Post by Gavin Shedden »

BLUDGED
You can do it water boy

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CaptainSensible
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Post by CaptainSensible »

Whumped

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