Paddling Quotes

Inland paddling
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Ed Lefley
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Post by Ed Lefley »

"When wearing a dry suit paddling becomes a dry sport, only my head and my hands get wet"

(unless i've lost weight and my wrist seals are loose.... why was i wearing a dry suit in the summer anyway?!)

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waverley610
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Post by waverley610 »

WHITEWATER...

DO NOT INHALE!

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Tom_Laws
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Post by Tom_Laws »

Courtesy of Neil of Bangor Uni Canoe Club!

This beauty, full lyrics and everything:

Now that we are all members of the Love & Safety Club
I think it's time for you and I
to go down the river
on a kayak ride.

Now the first thing we do is put on our helmets
helmets on for a kayak ride
life jacket, put it on now
buckle up, tie it up, zip it up good
paddle in your hands
sun's in the sky
here we go on a kayak ride.

Angelo's got a boat ride gig
merrily paddling down the stream
paddle's in the water
sun's in the sky
everybody ready
we're going for a ride

I'm goin' kay-yi-yakkin
in my kay-yi-yak
I'm goin' down the river
but I'll be right back
cross my heart
I'll be right back
goin' kay-yi-yakkin
in my kay-yi-yak

Here we go with Angelo
he's going down the river
but he starts off slow
his paddle's in the water
he's pickin' up speed
singing kay-yi-yallin
is the life for me.

I'm goin' kay-yi-yakkin
in my kay-yi-yak
I'm goin' down the river
but I'll be right back
cross my heart
I'll be right back
goin' kay-yi-yakkin
in my kay-yi-yak

Going through the water
everybody's getting wet
there a bend in the river
so you better get set
paddle's in the water
we're trying to get home
and kay-yi-yakkin
is the way to go.

I'm goin' kay-yi-yakkin
in my kay-yi-yak
I'm goin' down the river
but I'll be right back
cross my heart
I'll be right back
goin' kay-yi-yakkin
in my kay-yi-yak

sung by the amazingly named Dunkle Unkin, one of the safety songs from the love and safety club!

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little_miss_yaker
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Post by little_miss_yaker »

My Fav Quote.

Person 1 'aka Glyn' is just about to drop over dog leg fall of the Etive (low water, plop and drop)

Person 2 'aka Matt' shouts (rather too loudly) "ohh noo.... he's taken the wrong line..."

Much to the amusement of the onlooking crowd of freshers but striking fear into the the heart (seen clearly on the face) of Glyn.

:)
Life in plastic, it's fantastic...

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StoneWeasel
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Post by StoneWeasel »

"'Must' moves are downgraded to 'strongly recommended' after they are missed" has to be one of my favorite all time quotes.
It is from an alternative river guiding system by Dave Peterson that can be found here

Denzil

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James F
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Post by James F »

Guess the film...

What's the river likebelow Bridle Creek?


Oh, it's really spectacular down there.It's unbelievable.


Then how come peopledon't go down there?


Well, you're not allowedto take rafts down there anymore.


It's just... Rapids are unrunnable.It's treacherous.


I bet you ran it though,didn't you?


I did. I did.

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pwilkinson
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Post by pwilkinson »

are they from that 90s gem, The River Wild?

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'Whiskers
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Post by 'Whiskers »

My club is quite sad and we actually have a forum running with quotes from each trip! One of my favorites has to be...
FreshAl to Zippy: "There is no piece of paddling kit in the world that will make anyone look good, it's just not flattering".

Jacob to the rest of us: "Yeah, canoeing... You're not meant to look sexy, you're meant to FEEL sexy!"
If you want more, have a look at this!
never stop exploring...

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'Whiskers
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Post by 'Whiskers »

Am also quite fond of this one - after what could be considered to be a relatively mild night in BOBs and Up the Junction, Small Robin said:
I'm not drinking with that Reading lot again, they're bloody animals!
never stop exploring...

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'Whiskers
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Post by 'Whiskers »

And (oh, hell!) while I'm still bored and still at work, you might as well have a look at The Twelve Days of Christmas, RUCC stylee... Bit late in the day really, but still, there's always this year!! :)

Well, they do say Christmas starts earlier and earlier these days...
never stop exploring...

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RichA
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Post by RichA »

Courtesy of Ed.
Reading this thread almost makes me wish that I hadn't taken the week off work.

Suffice it to say, I can now officially announce that the name of Darren Kirk has been removed from my official "May become an evil genius one day" list and been demoted to "Henchman, Level 2" list on account of his obvious lack of genius-ness.

Darren - if your company doesn't go to the wall within 4 months (unless you drastically improve your business model) then I shall upgrade you to Henchman Level 1.

Good day to you. Buffoon.


Laters,



Ed.
Sheer genius!

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waverley610
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Re: Paddling Quotes

Post by waverley610 »

Helen M wrote: Ps -Valentines cards are GO ...
"Less than three there should never be"

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DartFolks
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Post by DartFolks »

My favourite all time access request has to have been the following:

(scrawled on the smallest yellow post-it available)

"I'd like permission to shoot a party of 8 at Dartmeet"

oh.. yes, and there was a cheque made payable to the "Dart Assex F**k"

(made me wonder if, having written ASSEX, the mind just carried on in that direction!)

BTW the bank accepted it.
Fiona

Icarus & Fiona Edmonds
BCU River Dart Access

www.dartaccess.co.uk

chalky melts down
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not just in the US of A (h***)

Post by chalky melts down »

banzer wrote:Raft clients (usually from dear old US of A):

"Does the river flow right back to the beginning again?"
"Is the water heated?"
"Where does the water come from?"

And the classic, "Does the raft weigh the same once it's been inflated?"
I have heard all of the above and more both here on the mighty Tryweyn and in india, The classic on the Tryweryn is 'Is this a different river to the 1st run?'
keeping it real

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StoneWeasel
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Post by StoneWeasel »

banzer wrote:And the classic, "Does the raft weigh the same once it's been inflated?"
Ok this qute way mentioned a while ago and at the time I decided not to comment but now i think I shall as I am bored and feeling particually picky.

"Does the raft weigh the same once it's been inflated?" No it does not!

The difference in weight may be slight but it is there. But Air does not weigh anything you say.... Of course it does why do you think there is less of in the higher you go? the reason the air on the inside of the raft weighs more than the air on the outside is because it becomes compressed and therefore more dense.

A good way to show this affect is to get 2 baloons and some sensitive pan scales (or a peice of dowl rod with string tied around the middle).
First blow up both ballons and try to fill them with as close to equal amounts of air as possable. put them in the pan scales (attatch them to you dowl rod) and they should be pretty ballenced, now let the air out of one baloon and notice that the scales (or dowl) tip in favor of the still full baloon.

So mabie the stupid question is not quite so stupid (although mabie it still is pretty stupid with only pedants to stand up for you)

Denzil

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Tom_Laws
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Post by Tom_Laws »

Sad thing is Denzil I was thinking exactly the same thing!

Tom

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paddlersteve
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Post by paddlersteve »

"Inspect from below!"

Many a time I heard this cry from some of our blind probes!

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AlanMellon
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Location: Brisbane Queensland

Quotes

Post by AlanMellon »

" Follow me!!!!"

"it's only a bouncy grade 2"
normally used with fingers as a visual reference, which means that the fingers could be indicating a roman V or 5!!!

"Did you bring the car keys.......?"


A

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Stuart J Woodward
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paddling quotes

Post by Stuart J Woodward »

After many days of travelling to a high remote Himalayan river.
A certain famous writer of guidebooks said, to his fellow companions of dubious mentality

I think we should have some signals, why don’t we have this one for rock. To which a famous Italian boater remarked “ which a f!!!!!!ing rock the rivers a full of them”

Stuart
S.J.Woodward

Chris E
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Location: Manchester / Warrington

Post by Chris E »

My favourite from the summer:

"If you do that again I will rip your b****cks off!" after TomW retrieved some paddles lost by someone else (you know who you are) under an undercut rock.

and my regular reminder before the get-on:

"I have the van keys so rescue me first!"

Jon Wood
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Post by Jon Wood »

"Whiskey is for drinking; water is for fighting over."

Mark Twain

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katy
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Post by katy »

Once on a train with my kayak, the ticket man appeared, ran away again, returned with a camera and spent 5 minutes checking out my boat before asking...
"where's the engine?"

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