Paddling Quotes

Inland paddling
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Helen M
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Paddling Quotes

Post by Helen M »

Have ulterior motive for this ..

But my favourite is ...

BOGART: "How'd you like it?"
HEPBURN: "Like it?!"

BOGART: "Whitewater rapids!"
HEPBURN: "I never dreamed..."

BOGART: "I don't blame you for being scared - not one bit. Nobody with good sense ain't scared of Whitewater..."

HEPBURN: "I never dreamed that any mere physical experience could be so stimulating"

from the movie, THE AFRICAN QUEEN

Anyone got anymore?

H - x

Ps -Valentines cards are GO ... Anyone want a tailor made card ... pm me. Very cheap and will win loads of brownie points!

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councildog
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Post by councildog »

Q/harold have you sold our horse
A/ooooooooooodddaaadddd

steptoe and son

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MrJazz
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Post by MrJazz »

When my friend got pinned in a nasty slot-like hole in scotland last week, he was told:

"Don't worry, Chris! You will probably definately wash out!"

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Grumpy Fisherman
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Post by Grumpy Fisherman »

On reaching the bottom of Warden Gorge at the Tyne Tour two years ago, someone asked "Which way now?"

PhilT
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Post by PhilT »

I think that this comes from a Franco Ferrero book, but I remember it best because it was told to me by the person himself (who's name I have forgotten, but invented the river running sign for "White Cortina coming down the rapid".....

The scene is at the top of a rapid; tutor and student are sitting in the eddy discussing the route. Student is a bit nervous, so the tutor gives him a physcological trick to try: "Remember, you are not in trouble, you're a canoeist in temporary distress"

Later, the student is seen running the rapid, muttering "remember, I'm not in trouble, I'm a temporary canoeist in distress"

Phil

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Dave @ TRC
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Post by Dave @ TRC »

From a freinds girlfriend going past the 17century old church on the A55 to Conway.



( Fancy building a nice church like that next to a busy road like this.)





Dave lol every time I go past it now.
Suicide is man's way of telling God, "You can't fire me - I quit."



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God
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Post by God »

I was sitting in winsor the other day and heard an americian tourist go:

'jeess that sure is a nice castle but but did they build it so close to Heathrow?'

Oh dear

Jak

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Patrick Clissold
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Post by Patrick Clissold »

My camera wouldn't work in the alps so I started hitting it with my hand to bring it back to life:

Girl: Dont do that to it, treat it like you would treat a lady.

Me: What all gentle?

Girl: No bang it on the pool table!

googlebot
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Post by googlebot »

This was in FHM from the mouth of babes.

Eating dinner with his girlfriend, which happens to be corn on the cob. His other half says "How do they get the sweetcorn to stick on this".

Another one.

Me and my mates were talking about the assasination of JFK when my missus pipes up, "what, the author of Harry Potter is dead"?

My favourite has to be, "Theres no kayaking on this river". Look around at companions. "Yes there is".

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meatballs
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Post by meatballs »

Our american student was saying how nice it was to visit wales, so she could go back to the states and tell them how she's visited another country.

Dr. Tom, "Theres no oil in wales!"

Obviously fearful of losing some nice paddling spots :o
Ben

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tomhollis
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Post by tomhollis »

Grumpy Fisherman wrote:On reaching the bottom of Warden Gorge at the Tyne Tour two years ago, someone asked "Which way now?"
There wasn't many people asking that this year, although was standing on the bank with a rope I seem to remember the quote being "28, 29, 30..."


Tom

Philip lowers
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Post by Philip lowers »

Now this is actually true !!!!

Paddling in Switzerland one day and a few tourists came up to us a said " which way are you going, up that way or down this way" .....we were actually on the water at the time and the river was flowing at a bit of a rate .....it gives a new meaning to WW paddling .....up stream !!!!!

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banzer
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Post by banzer »

Raft clients (usually from dear old US of A):

"Does the river flow right back to the beginning again?"
"Is the water heated?"
"Where does the water come from?"

And the classic, "Does the raft weigh the same once it's been inflated?"

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markayak
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Post by markayak »

whilst running the roy gorge i was asked what the line was?

my answer was simply

"Hey diddle diddle straight down the middle"

maybe i should have added "straight down the middle of the flow" as one guy went straight into and over the central rock

Bertie..
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Post by Bertie.. »

paraphrased from a surfing (almost kayaking) film, and one of my favourite film lines...
'I did a lot of things I'm not proud of... but I never, and if it wasn't me I don't know who it could have been, I never p*ssed in your steam iron...'

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Tom_Laws
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Post by Tom_Laws »

Bertie.. wrote:paraphrased from a surfing (almost kayaking) film, and one of my favourite film lines...
'I did a lot of things I'm not proud of... but I never, and if it wasn't me I don't know who it could have been, I never p*ssed in your steam iron...'
What film was that Bertie?

Don't think it was point break....

Tom

Bertie..
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Post by Bertie.. »

"Big Wednesday"

argueably the best surfing film ever, largely because it's not just about 'surfers' or 'surfing', but about how a love of surfing influenced 3 guys throughout their life..

Obviously, anyone from the Poole Harbour CC 'big wednesday sucks' crew will no doubt respond in seconds if they're online....

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MJC
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Post by MJC »

On ALLT GLEANN A CHAOLAIS : "There is one line. The Line is down"

Also another popular one when asked the line (not sure where from) is: "Straight down the middle and take whats coming to you..."

Take it easy...
Matt.

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James Hartley
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Re: Paddling Quotes

Post by James Hartley »

Helen M wrote:Have ulterior motive for this ..

???? I noticed this the first time, but seeing as everyone else has either missed/ignored/already knows what it is, I thought I best ask
The more apparently complex an act, the more vital it is to search until you find its inner simplicity
Feed the rat

Sam the assistant
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Post by Sam the assistant »

Whilst looking at a particarly meaty rapid my friend Ian came up with 'don't fiddle, run it down the middle!'

Once when driving back to Newcastle after a weekends paddling I saw a sign post and remarked "only 45 miles to go", a little while later my (really should be blonde) friend said "it's only 40 miles to go you said 45" to which I replied "we are driving towards, it it is getting nearer!"
'It seemed like a good idea at the time' - the most heard phrase in A&E

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Rich C
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Post by Rich C »

I think "I can see two lines to get down this and neither involve my boat" was one of the best I have heard.

Also "that rock moved" after someone had paddled into a boulder the size of a house or "I only went over to listen to the rocks moving along the bottom" which was a novel excuse whilst out in Austria.
Rich

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Tom_Laws
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Re: Paddling Quotes

Post by Tom_Laws »

James Hartley wrote:
Helen M wrote:Have ulterior motive for this ..

???? I noticed this the first time, but seeing as everyone else has either missed/ignored/already knows what it is, I thought I best ask
Do we win hats?

Are you writing a book?

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fast n bulbous
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Post by fast n bulbous »

"Paddles none had Hiawatha,
Paddles none he had or needed,
For his thoughts as paddles served him,
And his wishes served to guide him;
Swift or slow at will he glided,
Veered to right or left at pleasure. "

-they don't teach you that in the BCU star test syllabus!
Chris Haydon

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Mark R
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Post by Mark R »

"I've had a lovely time, but this wasn't it" - Groucho Marx.

Applicable to a wide range of paddling circumstances.
Mark Rainsley
FACEBOOK

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Helen M
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Post by Helen M »

Have ulterior motive for this .......

Nothing sinister I can assure you! I'm in creative mode at present and am making cards (birthday/valentines etc) with paddling themes (amongst other things). The Christmas kayaking range went down really well. Just looking for inspiration ....

Love all the quotes.

H - x

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Dave @ TRC
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Post by Dave @ TRC »

You need to look at eveyones signatures there is some top ones out there.





Evil Dave.. ]:-3>
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Dave @ TRC
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Post by Dave @ TRC »

A Kayak is a large plastic banana shaped object with a hole in the bottom than can be propelled the wrong way up by experts.





Just read on page 20




Evil Dave ]:-)>{
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Dave @ TRC
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Post by Dave @ TRC »

And this one.

Choice of paddling garments: Do not wear a drysuit if you have chronic diarrhea...
...If you made the above mistake, whatever you do, don't capsize.





EVIL DAVE ]:->{
Suicide is man's way of telling God, "You can't fire me - I quit."



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Debby
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Post by Debby »

From a beginner just about to try kayaking for the first time:

Beginner: "I am not going to get wet am I?


Inappropriate cries as launching down rapids:

"bottoms up"

"down the hatch"

"sink or swim"

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waverley610
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Post by waverley610 »

From anyone who's wearing a drysuit:

"Zip me baby, one more time"

or

"Can you help me with my relief zip?"

Sure; Open or closed..?

"You're driving!!!"

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