Jet-Skis and midges

[PhilAyr]

Earlier in the week when the warm weather first made its appearance, I had decided to finish work early and go for a local solo paddle/sail in and around Ayr Bay. There was an F3 South Westerly so I decided to paddle out to the Heads of Ayr against the wind, have coffee and sandwiches on the beach, and then return home with my sail deployed to catch the following wind.

In hindsight launching the sail proved to be a bad idea. The red colour of the sail in the eyes of a ned jet-skier is probably the same thing as a red rag to a bull. I had seen him earlier, buzzing about near the beach and thought nothing of it, but now, from about 3km away he was heading straight for me at full pelt !

I carried on paddling hoping against hope but he was coming straight for me. He only changed course in the last few seconds to circle me and then and pull up alongside. When I say alongside he had almost rafted up. In fact he was so close I could count the plukes on his acne-ridden face ! I tried to stay calm even though I could feel myself turning to jelly. I was the first to say something.... Me …” It’s good to see summer’s here “. Jet- Ski - ned…”Aye, the waaters cauld though”. He then gave me a sneer and blasted away from a standing start engulfing me completely in spray. I did manage to brace in time but I was shaken. By the time I got back to the beach he was gone.

So there we have it, the silly season has returned with avengence. No sign of the midges though. With them you can at least fend them off with a spray or jacket but I can’t see anything you can buy for mad jet-skiers !

I decided to put this incident down to experience and not report it. What would you have done ?

Phil

[Graham T]

Yesterday van man (lad actually) turned up to visit a girl across the road from my house. Music blaring he got out left the van door open and went indoors for some while. I would not mind so much if those who have their sounds systems creating noise pollution had any musical taste. I call it thoughtless ignorance, so Phil if a person has that little awareness or thought about what they are doing and it's effect on others how will that change ? mostly talking with a person who is on a different planet makes no impact on them so no change. I might inform local Police or ask them if this is a general problem in the area and they have received other complaints.
I have wanted to come up to Scotland to go paddling because of the lovely places Douglas and others have photographed apparently free of the numpties or so I thought.

[MYSSAK]

My wife always says that one day she will do a little film. A series, as in the endless film series but instead of Baywatch or ski instructors against mountain rescue, skiers against snowboarders, and so on, it would be about awfull jet skies against nice kayakers.
So we can use this as one of the story lines:-), at least is proves that it would be based on real life about real people.

Michal

[Nick P]

Yesterday van man (lad actually) turned up to visit a girl across the road from my house. Music blaring he got out left the van door open and went indoors for some while. I would not mind so much if those who have their sounds systems creating noise pollution had any musical taste. I call it thoughtless ignorance, so Phil if a person has that little awareness or thought about what they are doing and it's effect on others how will that change ? mostly talking with a person who is on a different planet makes no impact on them so no change. I might inform local Police or ask them if this is a general problem in the area and they have received other complaints.
I have wanted to come up to Scotland to go paddling because of the lovely places Douglas and others have photographed apparently free of the numpties or so I thought.

This happened to a colleague of mine - van pulled up on the quayside, 'noise' blaring out while the yoof driving it bu99ered off to a takeaway. So, my colleague switched engine off and chucked the keys into the harbour!

[Skerry Packer]

Jet skiers should have a wee shot at kayaking and let them see the unrest they can cause newbies on the water. At least their wake clears after a few minutes unlike the mess left by campers in some of our lovely countryside. Having some fun with a new camera through the week I shot some footage of Loch Etive and the parts that midges don't defend well.
http://youtu.be/RxSVZ_t_tGA

Gerry

[maryinoxford]

I can’t see anything you can buy for mad jet-skiers !

I can't help with the problem, and in any situation, my personal instinct is always to run away from conflict. But you did remind me irresistably of thread on the (mainly American) Hobie forum. The title is "Guns for kayaking?", and it's currently at 4 pages.

The original post included the following:

For me kayak camping is a large part of my use and shooting is more of a sport. There is also the aspect of self defense against two-legged critters and four.
...
I admit that laws will differ from State to State here in the US and the question may not even apply, depending on your country's excessively restrictive gun laws.

I don't know if even a gun-happy culture would consider your jetskier a legitimate target. But it does spark off some wishful thinking along the lines of paint-ball pistols etc. Or quietly drilling a small hole in his fuel tank, if you catch his noise-machine unattended...

Mary

[Graham T]

This happened to a colleague of mine - van pulled up on the quayside, 'noise' blaring out while the yoof driving it bu99ered off to a takeaway. So, my colleague switched engine off and chucked the keys into the harbour!

This was as near as I have come to going to turn somebodies noise off. The house hold here used to be far worse and it is relatively quiet now but this oik is new on the scene. With such people you run the risk of it escalating in a silly manner, given 1) he was parked on private property , and 2) there is no harbour here to throw keys into

[Jurassic]

So there we have it, the silly season has returned with avengence. No sign of the midges though. With them you can at least fend them off with a spray or jacket but I can’t see anything you can buy for mad jet-skiers !

Urgh, this all sounds depressingly familiar. I spent a few days on Loch Lomond in my open canoe last week and despite it being midweek I was subjected to frequent jetski and wakeboard boat close encounters. I hate the bloody things with a vengeance. You have my sympathy Phil Ayr.

[Tastim]

Ode To A Jet-Ski Person

Jet-ski person, selfish fink,
May your silly jet-ski sink,
May you hit a pile of rocks,
Oh Hoonish, summer, coastal pox.

Noisy, smoking, dickhead fool
On your loathsome leisure tool,
Give us all a jolly lark
And sink beside a hungry shark.

Scream as in its fangs you go,
Your last attention-seeking show,
While on the beach we all join in
With ‘Three cheers for the dorsal fin!’

- Michael Leunig -

[jamesl2play]

Phil that story is so familiar to me. One afternoon at Afan Forest I was enjoying a nice afternoon on the mtbike when along the forest road came a bunch on moto xers (probably not allowed to use the term I normally use on here)

Anyway they all stop near me and the first one says ' oi butt (butt is the South Waleian word for mate) how do you get to the ice cream van from here? The ice cream van was actually miles way but to keep the peace I gave him the best directions I could.

His response was a 360 degree doughnut which sprayed me head to foot in gravel. Nice, so now I always duck into the forest when I hear any moto tossers coming.

They all come out of the same mould I think. Curses to the Japanese man that invented that type of engine.

[PhilAyr]

Thank you for some interesting replies. Funnily enough the noise emanating from jet –skis is not the issue for me. Yes of course their noise at close quarters can be an irritation, but at this time of year in a busy area such as Ayr Bay it’s something you would expect. So the machine in itself is not the problem. The problem I have is with the idiots (not all of them of course, but most) that ride them.

Although Jamesl2play‘s experience was land based, it has some interesting parallels to that of mine. Both his rider and my jet-skier probably got their kicks out of causing stress to someone non-motorised and on their own who could not take evasive action from bully boy tactics. All in the name of a good laugh of course !

I don’t think that this incident would have happened if I had been paddling in a group. Being a solo paddler made me especially vulnerable in that I had no buddy support or more importantly no one to raft up with when the inevitable big splash happened. Had he put me in, I honestly believe he would have just left me to it !

Any craft that can travel at speeds in excess of 50mph is a formidable danger and a lethal weapon to small craft, swimmers and wildlife. Neds and idiots should be prevented from going anywhere near them, but unfortunately that is precisely the type of people they tend to attract. I don’t belong to the “ I don’t like it ban it camp”, but one thing for sure is that something needs to be done. Some form of compulsory licence or proficiency test perhaps? .. I don’t know ?

Phil

[Bod]

Interesting what you say about licenscing. When I worked on a Summer Camp in NH, we had some jet-skis come buzz around the swim-pier. Normally it would be an annoyance, however there were 4 kids outside the ropes doing 'sub-aqua' (in 3m of water), so somewhat dangerous. We chased them in our Boston Whaler, but could not keep up. Fortuantely someone was videoing in one of the camp ski-boats and was able to record the licence plate. A quick call to the local State Trooper and they picked up a hefty fine in court within the week.

I am normally against regulation and licenscing in case it gets extended to where it is not necessary, but perhaps motorised craft should be registered.

I am not sure that being alone is what caused your grief. Mrs Bod and I were sea-paddling at Exmouth in January. Just us and one jet-ski in 10 miles. Mrs Bod and I were travelling parallel about 5m apart, so he went through the gap flat out. It is scary.

[Chris Bolton]

Agreed regarding the menace of jet skis - but here's a contrast to cheer you up. Paddling up the East coast of S Uist last week, we heard a boat approaching fast behind us. Looking round, it was going to pass about 50m from us. The driver looked as if he was on his way to the fish farm we could see about a mile ahead of us. We gave him a friendly wave, he waved back and immediately reduced speed - courteous to excess, since if we couldn't cope with a bit of wash we shouldn't have been there. He than slowed down further, stepped out of the wheelhouse and called "Sorry guys, I didn't see you at first" - apologising for not slowing down sooner. He kept to a low speed until well clear of us. This from a guy who was at work, not just having fun. What a contrast to the jet ski morons!

Chris

[Mikebelluk]

To see these tossers at their best try paddling around Abersoch this weekend. The 'Birmingham Navy' as my good pal Badger has christened them will be out in full force.

[PhilAyr]

This guy wasn't so lucky....

http://www.banffshire-journal.co.uk/News/Conoeist-tells-of-terror-in-the-bay-23052011.htm

Phil

[Graham T]

Having read the post I think this is a tricky one, Big Brother and all that, but it points to how people get their jollies. I have never ridden a jet ski and expect they have their uses but as a form of entertainment I just think I would get bored. So it seems to me people who ride them for jollies do get bored and seek entertainment by such stupid thoughtless acts.
I understand having received an apology the kayaker now does not wish charges to be brought but for me they should be. Only if measures and penalties are in place is this likely to stop, and this goes against the grain to take such a point of view. Plain truth is the gentleman could have drowned or had a heart attack and now be dead, I wonder if an apology would get him off a man slaughter charge. Cars are lethal weapons, many are uninsured etc but there are laws in place that to operate such a vehicle you have to be tested, vehicle MOT etc and why because they can be dangerous, and you can be jailed for causing a death due to your own recklessness.
I think those who are irresponsible would look elsewhere for their entertainment if such behavior carried costs and penalties

[Jim]

Phil, I think you were just unlucky, most of the jetskis I have seen in Ayrshire are out of Stevenston (slip at Ardeer), and we have noted that they never go beyond a range where they can be easily seen by other people parked on the point. Of course I could have misread the situation and that may simply be their safety net, stay within shore observation rather than waste money on a radio and licensing, but it always seems they need to be within showing off range of the shore.

Presumably your chap had found that he wasn't getting any attention from the shore so felt compelled to go and find you to show off to instead? It does sound as though he wasn't malevolent, just short of common sense and consideration?

Whilst we were racing at St andrews last weekend there was a 4 wheel buggy with some kind of IC engine in it driving up and down the shoreline, it was only about as big as a golf cart but seemed to have 4 people crammed in. Most of our lot were delighted to see it being pushed back along the beach towards the town a little later in the day - whether it was out of fuel or they had swamped it with a wave or crossing a stream we couldn't tell but it was clear they probably about 2 miles to go! Personally I didn't really have a point of view, the cart had kept well clear of us (unlike some pedestrians) and whilst it may not be allowed to have IC engines on the beach there I certainly had no objection to it, and in the main I have no objection to jetskis when they stick to their group and show off to each other and the shore.

Perhaps the worst jetski behaviour I have seen myself (although I have read about several collisions with kayaks) was actually from an Irish sea ferry entering Liverpool, which is a constricted channel between extensive sand banks and does not allow the ferry much manouvring space. Jet skiers there were playing chicken with the ferry, seeing how close under the bow they could pass or how close to the stern they dared ride the wake, or the old favourite, how close they can get before making a sharp turn and sending up a big spray of water. That particular group (and I guess they are probably there evey weekend doing it) probably deserve to be run down by the ferry and killed, in fact they would probably think it a good laugh - the ferry master on the other hand would probably be devasted.

[soundoftheseagull]

In my previous occupation I would have advised two to the body and one to the head!

[tg]

.. perhaps I need that unaaq and norsaq after all :-)

.. or a blue strobe! I bet they wouldn't like that. On our busy waters previously demarked waterski areas are being used by jet skis so I kinda know where they will be. Of course there are plenty of undesignated areas.

[Drahcir Ris]

"The coast is peaceful here. Or it is until a distant mosquito whine rises to a sound like a chainsaw as two jet-skis come into view. I always think of jet-skiers as embittered souls, driven to their antisocial hooning by the realisation that they've been fooled into buying a piece of expensive, motorised nonsense, with all the thrills of a ride-on lawnmower."

from: Paddle [A long way around Ireland] by Jasper Winn, 2011, Sort of Books, London.

[Tastim]

From Leunig who ought to be Australia's Poet Laureate. http://homepaddock.wordpress.com/?s=jet+ski

Ode To A Jet-Ski Person

Jet-ski person, selfish fink,
May your silly jet-ski sink,
May you hit a pile of rocks,
Oh Hoonish, summer, coastal pox.

Noisy, smoking, dickhead fool
On your loathsome leisure tool,
Give us all a jolly lark
And sink beside a hungry shark.

Scream as in its fangs you go,
Your last attention-seeking show,
While on the beach we all join in
With ‘Three cheers for the dorsal fin!’

- Michael Leunig -

[pete cos]

Jetskis must be what RPG's were designed for

[PeterG]

This thread seems slightly one sided. There are responsible jet skiers and jet ski clubs. We met a very nice bunch whilst paddling in fog in the western Solent. VTS Southampton was keeping us the jet skis and shipping updated. Everyone was looking out for everyone else on channel 12 that day.

However, there is the toss-the-lager-can-into-the-water-and-roar-off brigade which gives them all a bad name. Langstone harbour is having a clamp down this year, an annual permit plus daily fees, we will see if it encourages responsible navigation...and putting the lager cans into the recycle bin!

Out mountain biking I've always found the x-c motor bike groups very friendly as well and happy to share routes.

[PhilAyr]

However, there is the toss-the-lager-can-into-the-water-and-roar-off brigade which gives them all a bad name.

or as in my case.. there is the toss-the-kayaker-into-the-water-and-roar-off brigade which gives them all a bad name... ...Up till now that's the only ones I have met, but I live in hope ! ;-)

Phil