Dave is supporting me in my efforts to raise £1000 for http://www.cancerresearchuk.org .
I lost my wife Sue on the 9th September 2010, 24 years and on month to the day we Married. Sue put up a such a fight it was worthy of a Mentions in Despatches. I can honestly put my hand on hart and say, sue never spoke a word of compliant about her condition and at times the painful treatment she had Just the usual smile.
I know times are hard but please read our story below, and please make a donation http://www.justgiving.com/Andy-Elliott2
Sue was a stubborn woman at times, not bossy, but kind and gentle and un-fussy. An unselfish woman with grace to match. She had a sense of hummer to match my own.
Newque Cornwall July 2010
We sat in the consulting room in April 2008 weeping over the news we had just both been given. Sue would have to have a radical mastectomy of the right Brest. She sat up in her chair, wiped the tears from her eyes and smiled, “I’m going to get that boob job you wanted me to have" not a lot you can say to that but Laugh , Laugh we did!, over the reconstruction surgery that she may have, She always knew what to say, to bring a smile to someone face.
Her strength of being was overwhelming; she never put herself first, thinking always of others. She gave blood regularly, even though it was painful and difficult to extract. Later this would prove to be a problem when blood had to be taken prior to her chemo.
The diagnosis of primary Brest caner in April 2008 left us with a dilemma, holiday or treatment. We were both to have a holiday without the kids, a chance to catch up with each other, but that was not to be.
Six cycles of intravenous Chemo therapy, left her completely bald, and pist off, "one boob and no hair". Sue would remark later when her hair stared to grow back, that she looked like a lesbian. I did ask her if have a friend, again, her Laughter was infectious.
February 2009
After a brief break, Sue started his radio therapy. Insisting that she could cope with it, she would travel over seventy miles each day 20 treatments over four weeks, for ten second in the chair to receive a dose of radiation. She would stop off at the Rotherham ASDA to shop for food for us both on her way home.
It hurts me that I was unable to fix or repair sue, I became a spectator in her treatment and the feeling of helplessness was overwhelming at times. I am not an academic, just your run of the mill poorly educated “H” dropper.
The 10 Th December 2008, was the post treatment revue, and she returned to work the following Monday wearing a bandanna over the sprouts of hair.
The start of 2009 gave us both new hopes. The effects of the chemo and radio therapy had now pushed sue through an early menopause, yet again with no complaints. With her hair growing back and the birth of our first grandchild, in the spring, gave her a new prepuce in life and she became the doting Nana she was always destined to be.
Granddaughter’s First bucket and spade, Caerhays June 2010
Later in 2009, Sue would take part in the Race for life, Running for her dad, and best friend with some of her colleagues from the ASDA and our daughter and granddaughter.
Race for life.
In the November of 2008, we planned a holiday to Cornwall, to have that time together we both needed. I now had a sit on top kayak for fishing from at her insistence, so while she slept, I would be on the water, early for a paddle, the fishing mostly forgotten; seeing parts of south Cornwall I know well but from a new angle.
September saw us both in Jersey. Again away alone, with long walks on the beach, hand in hand, am and pm. She began to remark of a cough and a tightness of her chest. October saw us both at hospital again with more test, which she did hate, scans and more blood tests. It has always been a problem to get blood from sues, even when she gave it freely as a donor.
Devastating news in November, Sue was diagnosed with an inoperable thyroid cancer, chemo was not an option. 10 cycles of radio therapy followed at Western Park Hospital in Sheffield. Again electing to drive the seventy miles round trip. November, our son back from Afghanistan, and a day trip to Blackpool for our Sons freedom march.
You can probably guise what was said when I asked if she was up to a long journey.
My loved ones.
Sue went back to work, but by mid December work became intermittent, but managed the Christmas 2009 rush at her place of work, ASDA in Doncaster. She was not able to return to work after that, in the end, I had to put my foot down, with her permission.
April 2010 brought more bad news, sue had now being diagnosed with secondary breast cancer, and it was advanced, affecting her lungs and liver, but this did not stop her looking after our one year old grandchild, and planting flowers, and other house hold duties , which gave her the will to continue her fight.
More chemo followed, this time in oral form. The first were too large, and had to be reduced in size. This meant she had 22 tablets to swallow each day, as well as drugs to manage the thyroid cancer and pain relief.
Summer came, and off to Cornwall. Two weeks in a caravan at Pentewan Sands with sues at the wheel, driving most of the 359 miles to Cornwall, with daughter and granddaughter for company. Me in the van with all the kit Fishing Kayak and a Easky 17, cot, pushchair etc, and we had a wonderful time, and Sue with her oral medication for the first week of the holiday.
Summer is turning to fall. Sue had been in and out of Hospital a few times now and with no complaints. Watching her day to day, fight her battle. The Thyroid cancer had made it difficult to for sue to swallow her food and impossible for the oral chemo. Friday the 3rd September, back in again, same bed same ward as only weeks before.
Sue was moved to a single room, and this is where it ends, the doctor was told to be honest. Wednesday the 8th September I was finally given the Truth....
Devon, with friends and family June 2007, with howling gales, rain and a damp tent and a laugh from sue to brighten even the darkest of days.
Sue Elliott 28th May 1963 9th September 2010
Thanks for reading our story. Andy
http://www.justgiving.com/Andy-Elliott2
