by TimWheeler on Sun Dec 06, 2009 10:50 pm
Even with having dispensed with hymns to free up time for speaking, the time contraints meant that the draft required severely cutting to fit within the available time, losing a lot of the detail. I intend to re-write an extended version putting back in the detail covering his earlier years. Below is the text as read (approximately) at the funeral.
My thanks to Julia, Richard and dad's memoirs for much of the content and an abridged sentence lifted from a letter I received from Nick Burne.
When we met to discuss the arrangements, Julia was worried that we may not like some of her ideas, but needn't have as we were totally like minded. I am very grateful to Julia, Kay and Sonia who took the lead in arranging the funeral, whilst ensuring that mum, Phil and I were consulted.
It was good to see that so many attended, a tribute to the high regard with which Chris is held. Anticipating numbers may exceed thae capacity of the Chapel we briefly discussed if it was possible to use a larger venue, but it was not practicable. Thank you to everyone who took the trouble to speak to mum.
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Chris Wheeler
To the wider world he is known as The Kayaker.
We are here today to remember him as The Partner, The Son, The Brother, The Uncle, The Close Friend.
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Chris was born in August 1964, being the third son of Gordon and Pamela. With a twelve and seven year gap to his elder brothers Philip and Tim, Chris formed a very close friendship with Richard, his virtual twin, who lived next door. So close that they developed their own language, before learning to talk to others.
Pre-school, Chris and Richard created mischief which included numerous antics including weeing in Mum’s boots, which mum found hilarious. This close friendship never wavered despite their lives taking different paths.
Home and family was a very important pillar throughout his life, until later of course Julia became the most significant. However, he remained throughout deeply loyal to his parents, brothers and nieces Jenny and Lizie.
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Chris attended St Swithun’s Primary School where he first demonstrated his single-mindedness to focus strongly on goals that he felt were important. Even at such a young age he was his own person and could be very stubborn, infuriating at times. He excelled and won a scholarship to Abingdon School, where he studied hard, achieved excellent results, and won an award.
He was meticulous Everything had it’s place. On arrival home woe betide mum, if his sandwiches were not ready and cut exactly as he liked. A tidy mind, which allowed him to be very organised and make very effective use of his time.
Free to roam he would often disappear for hours, usually into the woods, including building and breaking camps. The climax was an underground camp at the bottom of the garden. Uncle Arthur rediscovered it a few years later, falling through the roof – clearly Chris was not destined to be a Structural Engineer.
Like his father and brothers, Chris tried cycle touring with Richard, at the age of 12. For years Chris had listened to the tales of Phil and Tim returning from canoeing and surfing trips and it was almost inevitable he would have a go. His apparent natural ability was a result of hours of dedicated training, to perfect every technique.
Chris asked me to teach him to kayak roll and we agreed to have a go in the river and he nearly succeeded at the first session. On my next visit home he asked for the second lesson, to which I replied, ‘I have taught you all you need - have a go’. Chris tried and failed. We expected a swim, but no. He set up again, failed. Set up a 3rd time and succeeded. A one off coaching style for a one off paddler!
He rapidly progressed, paddling with Riverside and the Kingfisher Club at Abingdon, but only dabbled with competition, preferring his personal challenge with the rivers and weirs.
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With his diverse interest in Architecture, Art and landscape he took a degree course in Land Management at Reading University. Then commenced his career in London, qualifying as a Chartered Surveyor working in management of commercial property.
After a number of different posts he settled at Cluttons Oxford office, where he has been for 10 years, rising to the position of Partner. He took great pride in his work, as in everything he did.
He’d taken a gap year after graduating, doing various work abroad and any available jobs to fund the next adventure.
Already planning further travels, an offer of redundancy pay in 1991 was snatched as the means of funding. He set off on a one year world tour in October 1991, with Richard, but in opposite directions, meeting in Hong Kong. Jointly they travelled Indo China, then continued on their separate travels. From this has followed numerous kayaking and backpacking expeditions. The need for adventure never wavered.
Kayaking took on a dominant role in his life, travelling away at weekends. It was on one of the trips that he had his renowned accident which led to his nickname of ‘Magic Knees’. Back at home with legs out straight in plaster he was determined to be independent, refusing to be pushed in his wheelchair. On finding a wheelchair proof entrance he would abandon the chair and shuffle through the shop on his bottom, an experience that made him a passionate supporter of equality. There are numerous examples of his moral courage defending and befriending disadvantaged people.
Through the incredible skills of two surgeons together with Chris’ stubborn determination he recovered complete use of his legs enabling him to return to his sports.
Evolving from his earlier cycling, his second sport was mountain biking, which he pursued with characteristic enthusiasm. This interest was shared and nurtured with his brother Phil and Richard, with whom he often went biking.
His story writing as a child re-emerged writing numerous articles for kayak journals about his adventures showing his humour, organisation and informed observations of the local cultures.
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Feeling there was now room in his life for more, he joined the local tennis club in Reading and a local Architecture course, both of which Julia had previously joined.
Their first date was at a jazz café in London, where Julia thought he was normal and quite cool. It was 3 weeks later that the truth was revealed; to quote Chris: ‘I may have a day job, I might even belong to a tennis club, but this is just a front. The reality is I go paddling all the time, it consumes all my weekends, all my leave and all my money’.
The relationship survived and flourished, sharing mutual values and desires to accommodate each other’s interests and pursuits. Chris and Julia built a home together, founded on a deep commitment to each other, which was central to Chris’ life.
Whilst Julia made good progress at tennis, Chris was never great at it , paddling taking priority over tennis practice. Although not picked for the tennis team he was in great demand for the club quiz teams, usually on the winning side, due to his exceptional breadth of knowledge and interests.
Chris introduced Julia to camping with initial success at an idyllic remote setting, but Julia’s enthusiasm faded with the usual reality of organised sites, and rain.
In 1998 they booked what appeared to be a normal holiday to Victoria Falls involving a 5 star hotel. Chris hadn’t admitted that the promised bubbles would not be champagne, but the white water of the nearby famous Zambezi gorge. Julia rising to the challenge tried rafting it and got so excited that she and Chris tracked down a local with a tandem kayak who agreed to let her go down with him. Much to Chris’ delight, she loved the experience, and gained an understanding of why Chris so loved the sport..
Later they discovered a mutual love of sea paddling which has included trips to Vietnam and this summer an upgrade to specialist sea-kayaks, with the plan that Chris would gradually concentrate more on this and less on white water. I bought his old sea kayak, hoping to find more opportunities to paddle with them. I am certain that Chris and Julia would have gone on to make as big an impact to Sea Kayaking as Chris has to white water.
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As indicated by the overwhelming response to his death Chris meant many things to many people.
In essence he was:
• Of a quiet nature but strong of character and mind.
• Determined that anything he did, he did well.
• A mentor and friend to many people
• Honourable and sincere
• Consistent and clear in his sense of right and wrong yet liberal and inclusive.
• A calm voice of reason, not a senseless risk taker.
• There for people when it mattered
• Not obviously emotional, he showed his care by helping people find solutions
• Dedicated and loyal to family and friends.
• Totally committed to Julia.
We have lost someone who set the highest standard, both as a paddler and a person, someone we may strive to emulate, but we will never succeed.
So, we could celebrate the 45 years that he has enriched all of our lives, but today we mourn. We mourn the loss of the many years that were yet to come.
